Stars-In-Night

2011-09-19T05:49:00.001-07:00

Days past fast, and is my first day of intern.
Spend half of the way waiting, and as we wait something challenging came along the way - our homework in 3 days time.

Oh well, reflecting back to Life...
We spend much of our time waiting isn't it?
While waiting, we find it boring nothing to do, some gg thr the roller coaster emotions, while a few choose to do something useful to fill up the time.

Sometimes, when the wait is too long and we are alr use to the waiting.
Something exciting or happening would pop up and stir our mood all of a sudden. If is good, then congrats! But if is not, then I'm sorry.

No matter how long is the wait..: question is... Is the wait worthwhile?
While waiting, what are you doing?
Even way before the wait moment started and u knw u are waiting...
What plan do you have to make sure what u are waiting for will happen or what are you doing to fill up the waiting moment?

Similary, to u. Shd I wait?
On the second thought let go is always beta.
On the thrid thought, maybe I shd just revolved ard u whenever u need help. And help u silently. Be easily contented like in sec sch... And don't think further. Start my gear again at a contented speed. Perhaps that would benefit me more.
At least I can prep the mood how is it like to fall for a per again, at the same
Time w less expectation equals to less hurt.

Unless, u make any move one day to assure me that I can go further more w u. If not I will just be on safe guard , be contented, and help u silently.

Either wait for ur assurance move or wait till the feeling I had for u to fade away totally.
While waiting, I know I will just help u silently :)

2008-05-20T06:57:00.001-07:00

Next monday is O level CHINESE!!
ohs my lord!
hmms. bless me ,wont you?
bless that i will get A1 just at one go,ehs?
only then i can focus on other subject!!
hahs!wads so funny about man.. im still seating down here and blog and hvnt really drill up yet.
i ask many ppl, how they revise for thir o lvl chinese. According to my so call survey,most of them said that they nv study,expect only for revising the Format for paper one -.-"
wad am i gona do then?
hms. i am gona do abit of newspaper read up just in case i chose the quesiton on news report writting for paper one.
next, keep on doing assesment, actaully,in my opinion, chinese is just like math, need to pratice ders.hahs. i scared i will be lazy, so i do my mock exam seriously.
well, except for today , i sleep halfway wake up and do, sleep halfway wake up and do -.-
luckily i still can get a 39 out of 70,it was not very good or it's what i want though.
But im sick todae alright, i got headache, and puke =(
hms.come back to topic. and then i will read newspaper too see how ppl write an excellent compo.
and lastly, read up those profound idioms for chinses. yan yu and cheng yu =)
hahas.
yeah~~
heys guys got to stop blogging here lers...
hahas.

tried~~sick~~

my dearest baby,kuku,
haish . sigh sigh
do u understand my hard work?
i just wana u to be pink in health,
i nv mean it when i gona say i dun mind seeing you if it can help u smoke less.
i mind, but if that really works, im willing sacrifice. might sounds very noble. but it's not for the sake of all those noble
telling the whole world "i noble, i sacrifice myself, if my dear dun smoke , i dun mind not seeing him,noble hors?" IS NOT THAT alright.
it's really saddening and hurts, when i see or even knw the way u try to harm urself!!
oks y dearest kuku, try to smoke and drink less hao bu hao?hao ma? =(
tatas =D

2007-12-23T09:50:00.000-08:00

though u look abit similar like my shagua.
but then . sorry . you are always u .
him is always .this's the reality . the fact.
nobody can chg it.
neither will i decieve myself too.
i knw . no matter how much ur charac, or att or in terms of anything, how much is it equivalent to him . i will nv fall in love with you .
because like i said .it's the reality u are still u .
him is still him
and beside, my heart is still lock for him
i wont allow anyone to enter my heart ,unless he had no longer in my heart, only by then i can open my heart .

2007-12-06T09:36:00.000-08:00

I LOVE THE DAY AT TOA PAH YOH WITH YOU.
I LOVE THE DAY PLAYING POOL WITH U . I WLL BUCK UP AND WE WILL PLAY AGAIN =D

stupid leg . sometimes doesnt seems to be moving at all .
im not suppose to take up any alcholic. cuz im sick
if i took my condition will go worst. my old symptoms will replease.
but i dun care. im gona drink.
since he wont allow me to go for smoke.
drink drink and drink till i drunk.
they say what worst is not you can drink is you can dirnk but u wont get drunk >.<

true jess will shows up only at night
on her bed . starring black at the window and tears start rolling down
she's no longer herself . no more.
her sawchiu dun even know who the hell she is now. she would just say.
"i dun understand u,no more. u arent the jessie i used to know,no more "
she smile and laugh. but broken smiles and laughter of sadness.
she kept pulling herself thr, but she realise she's stepping backward instead of forward.
each step she takes on ,was like dragging kgs of stones.
the rain seems not to wash away her sadness but it spikes like million of needles into her heart.the sunrays of the sun shone in her life, but seems to be covered by dark clouds.
the wind doesnt seems to be able to blow the dark clouds away.
she lied to herself. telling herself to be jovial, stay strong, but doesnt seems to work .
her eyes seems to only reveal sadness. she learn to be optimistic every now and then .
but the thunder storm just kept on storming and give lightings. that she lost her ways .

Just so who is she now?
where's JESSIE?!
do you know her still?
NO, i dun know. NOT even i myself who called JESSIE
know too . help me.FIND BACK JESSIE, and only one per might be able to do it.
yeah' it's her beloved ones.

i always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone.
When you walk away I count the steps that you take

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
Wherever i go , there's traces of our memories and strenches of ur smell that doesnt seems to be able to fade away.

All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah. ohs boy. i need to hear ur words and get me thr the day and make it ok .
I MISS YOU

2007-11-29T07:48:00.000-08:00

todae went to petir court.
memories keep playing .
the bear and the necklce seems not to be levaing .
when it wana lost, it's back
wads that?
heaven's will ?
its just so conditracting.

[[ shagua . sians. gona work at bakery. yeah!! if u really work at the bakery . then good. cuz that might be ur very small first step towards ur SWINGBY liaos. hahs .im sure you can do it der bahhs. JIAYOOUS! XD <3]]

2007-11-27T08:09:00.000-08:00

sorry . i cant decieve myself.
i still love him . i cant allow myself to hv two per in my heart.
thats not me . and besides , though i know i will be happier if i choose you.
but like i say i cant decieve to myself the fact that i love him still .
if i could really forget him . i would had done that long ago.
i hope you understand . you will still be my friend,ehs ?
hahs .

[[shagua .tml work again liaos. must jiayouus worrs. enjoy ur so call enjoyment. which is slack XD. hahas. dun wear out lers wors . love ya .Nights. <3 ]]

2007-11-17T23:48:00.000-08:00

i dun expect that he will appreciate touch or move.
boy u nv knw , nv knw. how worried am i yst .
how cld u just leave me . i cant imagine what will happen if u really go and did that yesterday .
though i rejected ur call . but still feeling worrying somewhat .
really. i feel like just exhang.and yst i really just did go off like that.
but u dun know . only my sister know . i told her not to call u . or my parents up .i dun know who the hell went to spout on me . i know how u feel . read my phone and u will know. there's a few times.the necklace jjust went off like this. but i found back . im thinking is it fate? playing on me?
lost and let me found back . i ask god. had out fate ended. he told me no .
i hv no idea what can i do or say to let u trust me again ,
i very xing ku . im speaking ALL the truth yet you. perhaps i shd not had disturst u in the first place despite the fact that u let me down . my smile is hidden smile . is a broen smile . no more me.since u really dun wish to see the
shd i just bear and exchange and leave ur house right now?
no matter how long i love you will still be waiting for you.

[[shagua . u body ache and running nose, must taking care , take medic hors. dun scared me next time. im raly worried. dun play so much psp lar hors. hahs . still got more to go on . but i sick not feeling well , next time bahhs =D love ya ]]

2007-11-12T19:20:00.000-08:00

she's speechless.he dun understand. nv understand why she kept on clinging and bugging him non stop . she dun want t0, because she knows that if she continues to do so , he will detest her and eventaully becomes a nuisance. Why could her other few friends who knows whats going on can understand but not him ?what causes their break up , what causes her to kept on clinging to him . what causes her to become a nuisance.he only thinks it's an excuses.because he understand nothing.
this few days she had met some mishaps. which she knows is a hint to it .
she cant imagine what's going on more . that she guess she hv to stop working.
Her friends and him scold her stupid . Her friends scold her stupid because they said is alright if he dun understand a single thg. but he dont even appreciate it and u are gona exchange ur life for such a per . he scold her stupid and told her she've no right to do so .

yeah!she've no right to do so . she've no more rights to interfere his life. she've got no more rights!She's stupid. but now only her who can help him out, if there's other ppl who can help him out, they wldnt had find her! they wld had find others . besides, she's still in deep love with her.
she lost the chance of being with him , she dun wish to lost the chance of saving her love ones. Now, she dun bother much if they are able to be together again , she dun bother if she had become a nuisance in his eyes. she's just wana him to be safe and sound .

If she can help him to pull thr and save him.
why not? Hey friends, i believe he hv brighter future than me.
he have his dreams. his ambition . but do i? yeah . i might hv. which i thk will nv come true. but his will defenitely come true.Dun ask me how i know, you all knw who am i and how i knw ders! beside im still sick . i dun know when the hell will i recover. or will i get to recover!
and whatever she do,she doesnt expect he will be grateful come back to her and be back her bvoyfriend. whatever she do , only got one intention . she want her love boy to be just safe and sound . turn one big round, that's still her intention .of cos she dun deny the fact that she seeks for his understanding of all these .

or does he really need times to thk thr .

If u were given a chance to save ur love one, would u?!

[[ shagua. can u dun be so sha. dun play hard hearted and my last term and condition with them will cancel off. by then i will left with one conditon with one instead of two.unless u want me to met more mishaps. u can say im threatening . but for the sake of both our safety will u just listen ? listen for the sake of our safety. ]]

2007-11-10T21:56:00.000-08:00

this's the first time saw chiu was so disappointed in me
for 7 yrs, i can hear from her voice and tone that she was not only shi wang but upset for what i had done too. though it doesnt concern her.
but as her friends,she have the right. and i understand because she treat me as her best friend, that's why her respond is like that. but i believe she will cool down soon .

Finally i had tell him the truth of causes in our relationship
and what i had been helping him all along.
as each day goes by, my thoughts for him is even deeper.
my heart just cant stop loving. it pain inside .
but i told my myself , there's nth i cld do , a part of me was dying , and no for the sake of him , whom is my loves ones. i will keep on holding my breath .

[[darling , i knw that by helping u will risk my life sometimes. but i m willing to do so ,because, perhaps thats the power of love. i dont care if we still can be back tgt, or do we still hv the affinity or are we destinied again or not.as long as. u are safe and sound.i hope u understand. ]]
i miss u deeply.

2007-11-08T01:02:00.000-08:00

By keeping silent wont let me forget him or any help
it will only worsen my love sick.
make me hurt. will it numbs. my love still remain the same
i dont know what's got into me that made me love him down to the pit
call me crazy. call me blind . bcuz i love him , im able to let go my ego .
i dun care. i love him not bcuz he give me what i wana before.
is becuase i really do love him for who he is.
if i dont, my love wldnt had become un condtioner love.
and yet so deep .

i miss you i miss you i miss you.

2007-11-04T02:37:00.001-08:00

read the previous post first =D
i wont tear down this blog ,
till the day i had stop loving you.
if i were to let u fall in love with me,
im confidence of it that im able to let u love me again

i miss you too much
i love u too much that it hurts.
that im holding back my tears,
that im pushing back everything
that im force to put on a curve and smile .

Every night i seat on my bed,
looking out of the windows,
straight at the skies staring across where u live
listening to the BROWN EYES only that time,
im then able to let the tears roll down my cheeks.
cried out my heart.

in fact, i dint even sleep
i sleep fro less than 5 or 3 hrs ever night
because i couldnt get to sleep.

The empty space and air is filled up with my sorrow and pain.
there aint anything more to describe my agony.

I miss ur voice and everythings.
i miss ur love,
but i know what's not meant will nv be
what's mean will ever be.

im blaming myself all nights.
i blame myself for letting u knowing me,
giving u so much hurts .
blame myself for not cherishing, not loving u in a right way .

I know i hv to let go,
but i could not bear .
i know i hv to stop loving.
i tried. i tried once. i tried twice. i tried hard.

but my heart .my heart. all my heart!
cant stop crying.
cant stop blaming myself.
cant stop loving you.
cant bear to let go.

each time i walk pass the bb court,
i saw our shadow the night we been with each other .
each time i walk pass ur class i saw ur shadow.
everywhere i go i saw both of our shadow. memories playing non stop.
i smile . i laugh. i cried to myself.

staying in sch , is like staying in memories.
i love u not because for the sake of memories.
but is i really love you.
because i had really love u un- conditonally
im able to put down my ego.
asking for another chance to love you right again .

and this time round.
im sure i will .

ps:Darling, hear from ur voice that you are abit sick , take care. ifu are not then good. NO U ARENT FAT. how many time u wana me repeat? all the best for moday and tues paper. perhaps u wont get to see my blog but what matter most is i did send my blessings.

2007-11-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

i've got all this from the bulletin post =)
and it's mostly the fact .

PART 1
if a girl cries in front of you,
it means that
she couldn't take it anymore...

If you take her hand,
she would stay with you for the rest of your life;
if you let her go, she couldn't go backto being herself anymore...

(V ERY TRUE!!!)
A girl wont cry easily,
Except in front of the person who she love the most,
she becomes weak...

(VERY TRUE!!!)
A girl wont cry easily,
only when she loves you the most,
she put down herego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you
please hold her hands firmly, she's the one who would stay with you for the rest of your life.
Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you,
please dont give her up, maybe bcoz of your decision, you ruin her life.
When she cry rite in front of you,w
hen she cry bcoz of you, Look into her eyes, Can u see n feel the pain n
hurt she's feeling?

Think....

Which other girl have cried wif pure sincerity, In front of you, And bcoz of you?
Sh e cry not because she is weak, She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,
She cry, Because crying silently is no longer possible, the pain, hurt, nagony have become too big a burden to be kept inside...

Guy s, Think about it...
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you, And all because of you, Its time to look back on wat u have done, Only you will know the answer to it.
Do consider it. Coz one day....It may be too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say "im sorry".

PART 2
Guys,Realize that the girl holding onto u isperfect in her own special way.
The way she laughs.The way she sleeps.
The way she loves you.
The way she tries to please you.
Always remember that.
She can always get up and walk away,
getting someone else who can love her more.

For all you know, there is someone out there wooing her already,
but she is rejecting, a maybe perfect love for her.
There might also be someone out there.
who is willing to love her more than you are loving her now.

Fulfill her every need and love her as much as she loves you.
Understand that.
Imagine this, guys.When you are holding her today, and you cheat on her
by hugging and kissing another gal.
And then you run back to her.And u do the same.But you see love in her eyes.
What do you think?
Do you feel the hurt?
Can you feel the guilt?

She loves you not because you are good looking,
have money,
buy her things,make her parents happy, or that
you can have anything you want in a snap.

She loves you for who you are.
Your every touch, every word you say,everything you do.
Guys, cherish and appreciate your girl.Don't break her fragile heart.
She is the only one who can love you that way.
You won't wanna regret letting go of that special girl you have.

For everything she has done for you,
the least you can do is to give her unconditional love as she has given to you.

PART 3
Girl facts:
When you catch a girl glancing at you,
she wants you to lookback and smile
When a girl bumps into your arm
while walking with youshe wants you to hold her hand

When she wants a hug she will just stand there
When you break a girl's heart
she still feels it when you run into each other 3 years later
Wh en a girl is quiet,millions of things are running through her mind

When a girl is not arguing,she is thinking deeply
When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions,
she is wondering how long you willbe around

When a girl answers, "I'm fine,"after a few seconds,she is not at all fine
When a girl stares at you,she is wondering why you are playing games!!!!!!

When a girl lays her head on yourchest,
she is wishing for you to be hers forever

& amp; amp; amp;
When a girl says she can't live without you or mean everything to her,
she has made up her mind that you are her future
When a girl says, "I miss you,"no one in this world can miss you
morethan that

When a girl is meant to you after a break-up
she wants you back, but she's scared she'll get hurt and knows
you might be gone forever.
=====================END========================
i miss u too much that it hurts,
that im pushing back every tears, holding on every drop in tears.
and force myself to put on a curve and smile.

cherish for whatever u hv.
cherish the time when u are with ur boy.
girls heart are fragile, so do guys when they are hurt to the pit
girl crys because they could not hold on to the budern anymore, boy cries because they had really been into love.
never regret for whichever path u chose,
if u chose to wait make sure it's worthwhile for ur wait.
if u chose to love, assure of urself,u might find it tough but make sure u wont say sorry.
no ones will know what will the future holds for them ,
no ones knows ten years down the road will he be ur boy and hv the affinity.

Before u want to leave ur boy,
think twice before u make a step.
think twice is there anythg in the relationships for u to hold on
think twice is he worth for ur love again
think twice for EVRYTHING .BE TRUE TO UR OWN FEELING
NEVER SAY BREAK UP AND LEAVE ANYHOW.
when he's back to hold u , try to give him a chance cuz it shows that
he had fallen in love with u ,and wish u can be with him again.

nv hurt a guy too deep
nv lie to a guy too much even it's white lie
because when u hurt him too deep . he will feel numb, like girl too,
unless he love u unconditionally.
because when u told too much lies ,white lies he still find it a LIE
and he dun like u to lie .He might get hurt when u told him the facts, but he will get even hurt when u chose to uphold the truth . even if u tell him at the truth at the right time he might forgive u once, twice but wont be everytime.

when being together,
cherish each other,
tell the truth , speak out from the bottom of ur heart.
when u meet any mishaps,seat down discuss with him
let him be by ur side, with you, solve it together,
dun settle it alone . because it involves two party .
he wont and will nv like it.
Dont wait till his heart had died out and then regret.
by that time it's too late,cuz there's a very very vey least chance
that u are able to relight the candle in his heart again.

i love u and miss you too much , that my heart is crying non stop .

2007-10-31T23:31:00.000-07:00

if this pain goes on and on 24hrs non stop
only stop for 1 to 2 mins ,
i know that the cells in my head will burst .
and it will go even worst .

Heys. sorry Guys that i cldnt join u all in the CHINA HERITAGE trip
i want to . but i cant
im sick . hahs . hope u guys enjoy urself,ehs?
hehes .and well .lastly SELEMAT HARI RAYA to all my malay girlfriends.forget to wish u girls. hehehs.
anyway u girls look gorgous abd pretty that night =D

[[Darling . heys .i call u but no reply. how's ur last day of preparations for exam?
hahas . work hard hard wors.lvoe ya =)]]

2007-10-31T02:48:00.000-07:00

yeah! im glad that teacher is back todae
she's back to pack her thgs.hahs . glad that i could pass her my card =)
my god. im so touched. thanks teacher.
dun worry , i wont hestiate to email u , if i do face any probs.
really, once again i must said that u're an angel in disgused =D
Forget u not. X)

SawChiu . dun like that bahhs. i understand ur xim tia.
that night u cried out ur heart, i cld rerally feel ur sorrow. cuz i had been thr . try to stand up, be strong, hao mar? see u like that i oso xim tia.i do admit that i wana cried too . but i dint. i force my self to put on a smile each time,when i wana cried. u dint know . guess u dint notice too. perhaps u did. but u chose to keep quiet. hahas. well u mustnt fall!u fal ler, whose gona comfort me and guide me to the right path again. whose gona tell me honestly what's my weakness and help me chg. hahas. i still wana hv high and fun days with u.who's gona do everything for what we do before tgt. like taking lolipop along the streets. plating with balloon. wish upon the balloon . Jog and more more more to go manns.there's still a long road down ahead of us. i wana see the optimistic u , not like now . alright.
SMILE !=D

[[Darling! jiayouus. sorry if i kept repeating JIAYOUUS.hahas. next week ur exam soon gona be over lers. hahas. ENDURE =P . ths few nights kept raining, dun catch a cold , and dun u dare to fall sick untill play game sdtill can cover the blanket and play one hors! ]]
WeiS. shagua!i promise u i will go check up i will sure go ders =)
This time round i wont break my promise.

As each days goes by,
my heart pump even faster, cuz it's getting nearer.
and each time i thought of it iwould cried again , may i just faint again like i did last few 1 or 2 days ? sleep on and nv wake up, so i wont shed a tear. for that sickening stuff. and i wont hv to be so frantic over it .

2007-10-29T20:59:00.000-07:00

Regret that i dint turn up last friday.
i couldnt even sign on the card myself for her. but glad that a friend of mine help me to do so. thanks you =)
when my friend told me the news. i was like. huhs?!my tears was about to drop.but then i hold on to my tears. saddening . why must she leave. i cant bear. really cant bear. cant bear.
Well. Is she the one who enlighten me. teach me abt life.
when im troubled i do look up for her once. is her words which had inspired me . Not only her words but her teachings too.
she had a superb ways of her own teachings. she had a heart of magneosium. So far, she's the first teacher who gained my total respect.
Dont u guys find it a laughing stock ? why each time when there's a gd teacher appear in front of us , be with us for only a short period and they got to leave to somewhere. yeah . people comes and goes ard.it's apart. That's part of life .
Her words. teachings. Jokes. every little bit of her will always be in my memories. her inspiration and the impacts that she cause on me.
will never be forgotten.and will always rmb in heart and mind. But she's really a superb teacher, who ought to gain resepct and love from students. Wherever she is, May god bless her. =D

2007-10-24T23:49:00.000-07:00

my head is sickening pain . running all over like mad.
asthma coming up every few hrs.
my god.heaven pls stop playing a fool on me =)

[[darling . find me back my watch pls ? hahas . i need it loads manns. pls?continue to JIAYOUUS in ur studies wors.hahas =D]]

i realized that my words are so direct and mean.
and yet she dun get my point still. perhaps today she might had been spouting nosense again? wells. ohs my god. i dun care or give it a damn.
i nv knw that i could argue and "negoiate" with her till my asthma came up,resulting me fall sick and absence from school today.
kept telling her not to . yet she insisted . seems that her patty childishness game will nv stop . oh my. hv a rest .early in the morn wake up not long ,saw that sms . i was again . OH MY! pls pls pls.the conversation on phone with that girl .motive and main pont was asking her STOP asking my friend to chose side.and stop putting my friend in diff spot again.on phone . she inteneded and WANTED to drag another per in. saying alright "we got that her chose . see if she agree wuith who" i dun want. because i know that. in this way that victim will get hurt or stress again.i kept telling her. that vicitm is her good friend for yrs, arent she guilty by keep putting her friend in diff spot? is she really happy by gaining happiness by making others ppl life diff? arent she feeling remorseful at all, time and time again doing such thg to her friend? i DIDNT threaten her. is she who in return threaten me. well i didnt fall for the trap and got threaten. just so what she want?

really disapointed. that girl . yeah . that friend of mine.
judge and come to a conclusion. misjudges the whole thg by listening to one side.i told one of my friend. well . true enough my friend agree and stand on my side. so what if her side got more ppl standing by on? yeah . MAJORITY IS NOT ALWAYS RIGHT. and said that i threaten them.
sad-ed sad-ed . disap . diasp . really nothing more to say. speechless. speechless.OH MY~ believe or not. up tp you .

gona rest.

2007-10-24T03:09:00.000-07:00

before i start typing anythg more. i just wish to sae.
really. i mean the pig pig in tamagotchi =(
not refering to any more thg else liaos =)

there i goes.
super duper boring boring. and lame lame.
3 hrs of math enrichment. 3 hrs of eng.
okies. math. IT math. well. i find english course more meaningful than the math. =)
hahas. the teacher was cute. lols. and the poor tata bear was throw all over the places. shdnt hv go to sch. cuz my head was in pain .and it's damn pain . =(
heys heys heys . during MATH i use the Ebddy. com to online. hahs. which actually makes my life during math lesson not that boring!yeah!
hahas. okies. aft "conveying" some msg to that someone. im gona go off. my head is damn pain . in comma soon again , i guess.

[[Darling ,heard that todae's chemistry paper is tough.no matter what jiayouus. i got confidence in you. heard from my friend too,, yeah u are weak in math , but u are da best too , cuz u kept asking teacher on how to reolve it and tried ur very and all da best to attempt the Question. ur dilligent looks and positive att learning is memerizing me.CONTINUE mans.hahas. love ya =)]]

There i goes: msg mend for that soembody. =)
To be frank. right there yeah is you.
stop all ur nosense pls. pretty frank. i had always wanted to make peace with you,i nv detest u. neither do i hv any bad impression on you. i had been giving u chance over again and again . yeah . i do hv high limitation of patience.but that doesnt mean u can test me. yet u kept on creating havoc. finding trouble for me. u must be thinking i had a hard time putting up all ur NOSENSE. u must be seating aside watching and waiting for me to cry just because u speak ill of me? YOU ARE WRONG. in fact , i DIDNT. i smiply ingore and didnt even want to bother .bothering such act of urs, is just a WASTE of my energy.u are really conceited. dun know wad's that means? nvm i eleborate for me. meaning u are those who kept thinking highly dwelling of oneself. ur action , ur words, ur att. simply IRKS. u must be thinking wried, then why do i hv to post and tell u all these here,ehs? because again and again , for yrs and yrs. u had been putting my friends, esp those who were close to be in diff spot. and i cant stand the sight of seeing them stress up in btw u and me.whenever they wana to be with me, is ur stupid att and threating. which makes them stress up let me tell u ,just in case u urself oso dun know, u threaten them by saying " if u go with jessie,then i wont talk to you." " if u go with jessie then ...blah blah blah. "all ur craps. they wana be friend with both u and me. and PEACE. yet u kept on making life diff for them for wad. LISTEN UP!when would u stop bearing grudges?the one u are aft and detest is ME. NOT THEM. is there a need to make their life diff? that yr u were the one who told my 4 friends ,sec 2 that yr,rmb?> they all to CHOOSE. they chosen me over u , yet u CLAIM that i snatch ur friend.OH MY GOD! u gave ppl choices yet u see it that way. then u might as well dun ask them to chose and ORDER them instead. see for urself. if they will detest u even more. When are u gona chg?! ths two yrs. u repeated the same thg again and again. asking another friend of mine to chose. well .todae! u got my malay gf to be in diff position again . u know very well . im close to her in the class, yet i merely join my table beside her and u started to flooded with full of craps again manns.she told me nth . buut it was damn OBVIOUS even another per from our class can see that. not another one, is MANY MORE. IF U DUN TALK. NO ONE WILL THK THAT U ARE MUTE.well.FRANK! my friends. cant even stand you.u dint offend them,but ur ACTION simply irks them. ,i guess. u kept speaking ill of me. saying how bad im . saying untill how crumble i can be. YEAh. i admit so what if im really that bad?! in return , did u take a mirror and see for urself. WHAT ABOUT YOU?! heard from ur friend last time u wana chg, yet? this is ur chg. ?u dint know, all those ppl ard u ,ur friends ard u ,even those who not close to you, feel like shouting at u and ask u to shut up, ehs? PLS PLS PLS. i dint make up this myself. THEY TOLD ME. dun hv to bother to know who .because im not gona let u create any more hvoc and put MINE friend into diff spot again .PLS, dun make WILD GUESSES. u will only make everyon'es life in diff spot. PLS, for goodness saek, I dun mind if u dun wish to give me a break . i dun mind if u continue to treat mewhen will u chg ur PATTY chilishdness act and games? when u gone stop doing all these. this way. u DUN WANA peace and be friend,yet kept on creating havoc for me i dun mind. but ONLY FOR ME. I DUN MIND. cuz i DUN BOTHER at all .but LET MY FRIENDS OFF, it's all btw u and me. they are just innocent folks. Making my life diff is enough, but NOT and NEVER to my friends.that is also the reason why i THK i can stand u no more. stand u no more, by making my friends life DIFF.cuz u made my friend's life diff in times again and again! pls, pls , pls. for godness sake. when will u then stop creating havoc mans!

gona stop here.
hey gal . pls if u dun wish to be peace and make friend.then pls STOP CREATING HAVOC or make my friends life diff again and again.
thanks =)

buais take care and bye .

Jess will be in comma soon,
anythg called her hp or any num that u know
to call and wake her up =)
thanks . =)

2007-10-21T21:57:00.000-07:00

eating my favourtie yummy carrot cake now =)
AH MA cook ders. damn declious . it's finger licking good.hahas
heys .u . dun drool . =)
it had been ages since i post.hahas. been looking everywhere for job.
waiting call for interview. initially went to westmall .went to the yellow show. wells. pls mans. tell u guys . dun work there. it's sickening.
3 bucks per hr. before i officaily work , there's training provided. train for 7 days. listen up .training. NO PAY . -.- waste of my time
hmm. following day went to Jp the house crepe. my god . they recurit saw chiu because she cld work FULL TIME. my goodness. leaving me alone. waiting for the call . GOLDEN VILLAGE. ANDERSON's ICE CREAM. WHATEVER ICONS ,in causeway,where there's another outlet at bugis.hmms. sell necklace and stuff ders. saw chiu and i think that highest possibility wold be the causway ders.cuz i got work in the same line before.then later on follow by golden village. as they are shorthanded. then the ANDERSON ice creams.AHHHS. imagine i can have FREE yummy ICE CREAM =))
hahas.

yeahs. got dinner with my darling last few days =P

xim tia tia. no appetities uhs.
i only want him to be safe.
in order to exchange for ur safety.
i know what to do lers.

2007-10-11T21:54:00.000-07:00

Remember the first day when I saw your face
Remember the first day when you smiled at me
You stepped to me and then you said to me
I was the woman you dreamed about

Remember the first day when you called my house
Remember the first day when you took me out
we had butterflies although we tried to hide and we both had a beautiful night

The way we held each others hand, the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true loveI knew right then and
there you were the one,

I know that he loves me cause told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love

I know that he loves me cause its obvious
I know that he loves me cause its me he trust and he's missing me if he's not kissing meand when he looks at me his brown eyes tell his soul.

Remember the first day, the first day we kissed
Remember the first day we had an argument
we apologized and then we compromised and we've haven't argued since
Remember the first day we stopped playing games
Remember the first day you fell in love with meit felt so good for you to say those wordscause
I felt the same way too

The way we held each other's hands,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to fall in loveand I knew right there and then that you were the one

I know that he loves cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust and he's missing me if he's not kissing meand when he looks at me his brown eyes tell it so
I'm so happy, so happy that your in my my life
and baby now that your apart of me you've showed meshowed me the true meaning of love(the true meaning of love)and
I know he loves meI know that he loves me cause he told me so
I know that he loves me cause his feelings show
When he stares at me you see he cares for me
You see how he is so deep in love
I know that he loves me cause it's obvious
I know that he loves me cause it's me he trust
and he's missing me if he's not kissing meand when he looks at me his brown eyes tell his soul

He looks at me and his brown eyes tell his soul.

tears roll down my cheeks, as the song played.
goodbyes.

2007-10-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

thanks to ur daddy that im unable to play station . dun dare to say cuz he need to complete his round.
listen up! u thk i like lying ? u know how bad i feel each time i lies to u.
hv u tot of why i lie to u . yeah . u may thk lie is alr lie. lie means lie.
but my lies are white lies. cuz i dun wana u worry . dun wana u get hurt that why i choose to lie .wait till when times right then tell u the fact ,so that at least thg isnt that worst.
u said i everytime behave like this, my words cant be trust. u thk i like? i hate lying to the one i love . esp u , pls, for goodness sake! if u really want. okies . fine. if there's still a next time . i wont lie to you, i tell u once and only one fact . no lies. no white lies. i yi wu yi shi de tell u . for what u wana know okies. i wont wana ot dun want say anythg liaos. i want i say it once and for all. i dun want i wont say , wait till i want i tell u again.

yeahs.sawchiu is right.
i had chg. i only know i love him. the rest i dun even know what i am thinking .
friends went berserk cuz of me. cuz they dun even know wad got into me. and why am i beahving and reacting and doing the same thg again and again everyday . so i myself sick and tired of what im doing , i know i shdnt had. cuz i will hurt them. hurt him . but .. im out of control .im doing it everyday . and i dun wish to.
yeah , im diff now . i had died.
sawchiu's jessie had died.
his xiaowei had died.
i had died.

i had been crying in this room again .
i hate tears. hate crying but cant help it.
i hate jealous. jealousy is sickening but cant help it.
whatever.nothing more to blog. im thristy. stop here. full stop.

[[shagua darling , i miss dinner with u . ur choco is nice.but the mars very nan chi.but i will still eat cuz is u give derhs. =))]]

2007-10-08T08:27:00.000-07:00

now wherever i go, i kept thinking of where's my darling. but i can only say that in my heart or only shout to those ppl who knows what going on.
tml math. a math. sians .
thurs still got paper. then count down to 30 oct. if i pass 30 oct then i can countdown to date.
haish . 30 oct pls. bless me.u shd know ders. no matter is my instinct of u stll do hv tiny tiny atom of feel inside or not , will we be tgt again or not , i will still wait and love you ders.
hahas. sawchiu thanks for being understanding like u know i wont take off my necklace and watch unless i stop loving him ders. i will even wore it to prom night.am i gg for prom will be his desicion.
hmms. not i dun wana tell. yeah i agree with them that you have the right to know.
i agree that u shd know . but i dun know when is the right timing. they know. they want they will tell.most IMPT i dun wish that u get affected cuz ur O. but dun worry i wont hai ni 3 mths cant talk to girls ders. then that gal gal who like u very pity lehhs.even if i jealous i also wont jealous untill so bad ders, hehes.
i alr risk my "life" to tell one of the friend. thk he or she will tel u der bahs .
dun worry,ehs? [ if u are ]
i promise to be safe and sound. if i didnt. then let me be your guardian angel who wont disrupt ur life like i used to. wont make u dl. hahas. rmb wors. there'll be a gal who name and for u to call as XIAOWEI der yong yuan ai ni. hahas. shd be ezy to rmb bahhs . because im the first gal who let u shout and scold at me the volume of narain's voice. hahs.u will always stay in my mind and heart wherever i go . wherever i am , u gona be my SUPER NUMBER ONE. u are right. beside sawchiu , u are also equally impt to me. =)

gona tell u wads up tml . i hope that .
aft u know u wont treat me too good. i hope thg will go as normal .treat me the way u wana be . if not i will get even more hurt.
gosh . shagua darling tell u wad. when im typing this post. a puppy came round my feet lick me
ahhhs!!! help uhs.

i dun knw shd i regret telling u.
cuz it hurts to see you like this. when u came to knew it.
u seems.yeah~
it hurts to see u in this state.
i had been crying in the room for hrs. when u are outside playing dun dare to step out .dun wana my expression u all saw ler wait spoilt atmosphere.sorry bu shi gu yi yao drag ders >.<
who wld not hurt to see his or her lover got hurt ders.

2007-10-07T02:26:00.000-07:00

flung. chemistry. i went berserk .
when i was doing , my mind was whirl with my silly silly.
i kept thking thking . then i pull myself back .realise that no matter hw hard i focus still cant get it my mind .pls.i shout "Arghh. yq where are you. i wana my darling. i very stress uhs.help!!" then the opp block's residents look across.i faster draw my curtain.so PAISEH. OPS. my god . so paiseh . my parents dint hear me. they were sleeping.heng uhs.hahs they look out . ingore my voicemail msg.
it's specaily mend for someone else aft my exam . hahs.thanks for ya
concern . i apprecitae it . hmm. exam period dun ask me wad happen ,eh? hahs. thanks .

and thanks to those who kept the secret for me of not telling him wads happening or going on. hahs. really apprecaite u gals. guess i will be orite. if not . hmm. i alr prepare present for u gals ler uhs . so even if im not ard. the present represent me .which he normally mention me as bendan.hahs ya lar. got me this bendan give ders. i will forever stay in u gals heart der lars. forget each other not ,ehs?
alright . hmm . told u ler ars. i wont cut . if not that slash of his will be bai cut ders . u all know how much i love him ,ehs? even not for u all , for him i wont der uhs.
hahas saw chiu come on mans roar and bite my head nors.ARGHH!!! i very scared uhs .bleahs =P
he said if i failed chemi. im really bendan. im alr one. when he kept calling me that. arghs .

[[shagua,enough of my compo and nagging lers.hahas.tong ni zai wo de shuo xin. zai ai de xing fu guo du , wo wei yi ai de jiu shi ni =)]]

2007-10-01T08:38:00.000-07:00

editied:

05.10.07:

yesterday . went to kopitiam with ling bef0re consulting a doc.i had a insitinct tht the bus driving by, if i look in will got him. so i really did and look . and i saw him.hahas. hiang and ling dun anyhow play play or talk abt break. i know u all joking ders.hehes. but no matter what must zhen xi. u all oso had been thr tough times many many time der. then can stay up will so long . so must hap hap de zhen xi know mar? dun like me. im one of the good example lers.hahas.so must know how to zhen xi uhs . hahas .

wo zhu fu ni men enen aiai <3

Thanks friends for concern dun worry abt my hands.not cut =X hahas. how i got it only got few per know the facts =)) thanks fadz and eli .both of ur cocern on regarding wad i told u all yst. i dun wish to go, but i know i still got to go.hahas. hmm my best friend saw chiu might be accompanying me to there or i be going alone.dun ask me why i nv call him.hahas. i dun know when i will be back or will happen after that . hahs. but i will miss u gals.lols. hahs. and for those who knows what happen to me aft exam. pls keep it mum. and to those who know me the most, pls uhs . dun tell that "friend" of mine . cuz 1. he might not bother. or 2. even if he will , i oso dun want cuz by our sistuation now, is alr worst to the pit .to prevent it from worst to the bottom of the sea. is best not to let him know anythg bahhs .he might not even interested.even if he will.so?now first pirioty is stil still O,ehs? i wana him to pass. so as friend u will help me by wana me to see him pass,ehs?hahs. so thanks lers.hahas.just in case anythg happen. friends all of u must take care, and live well. =D

03.10.o7:

i flung my todae's paper. i guess.cuz when im doing my paper.halfway through writting, my hand suddenly stop and thk of other thgs. i try it hard to brg me myself back othe paper.yeah . hopefully it wont totally flung pls.

aeroplane had eeen flying ard. guess even heaven knows my xin sheng bahhs . it represent the song of wo de cuo .

[[Shagua. darling. miss DINNER with you . dun cut lers bahhs. thk u wont so stupid either and go and cut ders. u know it hurts when i saw the slashing? u know hw ache it could be. pls .no matter what. cut no more. thank you for everything for today . woaini <3]]

02.10.07

today is 02.10.07. half yr gone . i hd been loving a per for more than that.

i dun know . isit the hatred that cover the love.really not even a single bit?i dun know. you might said no .perhaps. i dun know i really dun know.are u true enough to ur own feeling. if not why wld u slip ur mouth by saying then y dint i tell that gal we had a date. why u wana make jealus. out of fun?well my instinct told me if u go inner of ur heart, u still do hv some feeling. a bit...yeah . u still do hv a bit.

yeah i admit i m jealous of u and ur mei and them.i got jealous recently easily. i dun know why either. dun ask me why.

can we just drop this sub untill after o lvl. then we talk abt it. i dun wish affect abt the exam . pls manns.

i just want to tell you that if after exam , really the last chance, if still cant find back any bit and pieces of feelings, then by that time the door in my heart will automatically close TOTALLY. i will let go TOTALLY . and y att towards you will be only friends lers.

If i go in there. i dun know i coming out. but just wish to tell you that. u see silent is another form of dialouge. if silent date cancelled. u dun hv to worry anymore if im waiting for any gd or bad utcome. perhaps u will egt sad awhile. and later n u will get over it and i will be part of your memories. and also, thosse gls who were pursuting for you got more chance than me. like i knowi cant possibly outwith any one of them. i wana tell u too. i hate and i cant bear to leave u. do u really think i love dying that much?

if i dint get a chance to talk or see you. or even turn up for the date.i very greedy i wana both roses and sunflowers worrs. and uhs i wish to tell you, the day i had leave ur life doesnt means i love u no more, u are still my darling, no i mean dear. in my heart and mind . u're irreplacable. and i wana tell u this if i dint turn up...take care my bear. it consists both of our memories. it's all inside.it symbolized everything.

thank you for ur gentleness. ur gentle hand. ur warm hug. ur sweet kiss that chill down my spine. thanks you for turning droplets of tears into may smiling faces.that you for helping me to wipe my tears. thanks you for ur DINNER. thanks you for ur care when i m sick. thanks you for ur broad shoulder on 020407 night6. thanks for ur 020407 splendid night. thanks you for your noodle. thanks you for ur noodle when im back from camp. thanks you for bei wo. thanks you for hanging in toa pah yoh with me.Thanks you for ur cherry necakle which i will cherrish in heart forever. thank for ur bear. thanks you for ur watch. thanks you for giving me a sweet 16 bdae.thanks you for ur car ride. thanks you for ur first letter.thank you for ur bdae card.thank you for ur first choco milky bar. my survivour. if not for that i will faint. thanks you for your good advice and comforint, thanks you for being by my side tell me wads wrong and right and teach me. thanks you for teachingg me in chemistry. thanks you for waiting for me . when im very late. thanks you for enduring and putting up with me. thanks you for saying " my gal cried" to a stranger.thanks for calling me HONEY~! thanks you ur gentle peck.thanks you for your every single thing and eve more to listed. most impt thanks for beibng my wusong, my darling .

When im not by ur side, u got to know all these. EAT hor. sae ler lor. u fat or not fat will still love you. main thg is u not fat.head pain must eat medic. fever must use the cooling gel ,that's the last thg i might be able to do for you. unless u misplaced or threw it away. rmb to pull over a blanket when u sleep. i dont knw if i still got a chance to be ur nurse and let u hug, but do take good care of ur health. dun drenched in the rain worrs. wait for sick how.and dun drink TOO MUCH yakult, wait got flame then u know.mock exam lers.jiayous. dun overstress lers hors.and hor u dun like to tie shoelace der.so walk must becareful alright?try to tune in early,ehs?hahas. ians hai shi heng tan xin ni .and no matter what u do in the future. i will alays give u my moral support and support in whatever you do for ur life path in the future. I MISS YOU

i also wana tell u want thg. if at that time . we dint manage to patch i would like to tell you, dun apologize pls, cuz is my fault who dint love u in the first place. cant be ur happiness and lost u is my greatest regret in life.If we DID patch i wana tell u .thanks for giving me to love u right again ,i would cherrish u even more than ever. after this tough times is not easy to get back. let's put the unhappiness behind and move forward to welcome out new love life.u gona be my super NUMBER ONE! =D

Stop saying i love the wrong person lers. like i said if loving u is wrong then i wldnt want to be right. dun correct me pls. i rather stay wrong without any regrets. dun care outcome is still positive or ngeative.living in memories or because of first love. just wana tell u . at least im TRUE ENOUGH TO MYSELF. i know it beta than u or anyone else do. i know wad i am waiting . what i am doing .and most importantly i know who im loving . is none other than you. chew yong quan.

YOU ARE IRREPLACLE. NOTHING GOES RIGHT WITHOUT YOU.I LOVE YOU.

somtimes a few simple pictures and words is enought to represent everything.
crying while typing this blog.she really love him loads.
sign off ,
2.55 am. GOODNIGHT =)

2007-10-01T05:13:00.000-07:00

A guy who had been putting up with u for so long and burst.
the sorrow and pain had cover his mind and heart that he might had ever thg what she had done for him.how she had put up with his shouting.how she sacrifice for him before.guess even he himself dun know what she did behind his back.perhaps he wont even apprecaite it.

extracted from friendster . " BEnQ"

these two days been mugging.
chiong. sians. last min is owaes like that.
SS . intend to study only POPULATION. teacher give hint le.
say only study recently wad we had been praticsing and taught.
A math . mr chua came towards and smile at me saying if i dun want to drop must work hard.
for sure i will.blogging is the only time which i rest.
got to wake up at 4 or 5 for math , then 7 reach sch for chemistry.
ENDURE.PRESERVE. like i told him. jian ou de ri zi heng kuai guo qu ders.
tian uh sheng uh ala uhs. gei wo li liang bahhs.
i want to be like the XIANGQIN squeeze into the top hundred.UHS!
can i make it? it was like a while can awhile cant.yeah. somehow lack of confidence uhs.
esp MATH . and SC. GEo sians. dun understand MR tan note. gona take MS rin note instead.
his note is like diaos.
PRESERVE. JIAYOUUS! =D

admitted to hospital.might.
not sure when . perhaps after exam?
i dun know wad will happen to me.
but all that i had been doing for him is all these while.
is worthwhile. hopefully nothing will come up again ,when im in there.
pls god.sheng uhs. ala uhs. shang di uhs. tian uhs. balloon fairy .
pls bless him sound and safe, if im not around. sians forget .
he's survivour nothing will happen der.yeah .sure all will be safef and sound ders.

she's tired.
when she's mugging. "WO ZHEN DE HENG TAO YAN HENG TAO YAN NI!"
kept playing in her mind, memories kept roaming and whirling
she know she bought all these upon myself. so she shall blame no one.
she's tired not only that. is because ppl kept asking her. despite how he treat u , carry hatred for you. u love him still? when she keep mum, and said yes. they will defenitely ask WHY.and did u thk u love the wrong per. did u ...blah blah blah
she gona said here once and for all. not gona repeat.
because like she said millions of time. if loving him in the first place is wrong,then she wouldnt want to be right,and she wouldnt had called that love.
tired too. cuz ppl run to her and ask her ehhs. if he's gona migrate. wld u still chose to be with him. -.-
do u thk he had completely fade?
her reply was, dunoe . ask him dun ask her. she's not him. mainly is cuz, no matter is yes or no, she dun want to ans, cuz she dun want to make any guesses on such thg.
okies. yeah.she will. she will cherish for that moment. as that moment is contirubted to her life too.
okies.she's really tired. not tired of loving him. is tired of the recorder,esp when come to that negative impact, loud vol in her mind. and tired of u guys Q. ask her no more. pls.sorry for being so direct, but u are not her u nv know how stress it is to ans those Q , and esp when come to Q such as making wild guesses. she'll only answer to him and her best friend.because only their Q wont make her stress. she mean this type of Q.

She's looking forward to bendan&shagua's date.
she admit after that day she's fear. his feeling had totally fade,and no more.
the thought of it made her hving nightmares.
thought of the words and vol made her fear even more.
she gona cry,but she knw she wont and she cant.
she love him still.

SHAGUA! if u see this post i wana tell u.
be careful,watch out for cars. mck exam hors?must jia youus lehhs.
sick lers. use the cooling gel okies.NO u cant fall asleep 3 weeks from nw is O lvl liaos.
sians. must eat! nv eat wait not enough energy. at night pull over a blanket horrs.
pain ler must eat medi.dun be so stubborn. haish . ur shoe lace u nv want to tie der.
so when walk must be carefeul uhs. rmb dun gt urself drenched in the rain wors. hui fall sick ders. hao ler.i not ur mummy or guardian . no me repeat again like naggy der bahs
must take care.JIAYOUUS worrs.
Qi Shi hai Ai ni.ZUi ai de hai shi ni =D

2007-09-27T03:53:00.000-07:00

mrs choo and mdm prima and friends cried.
it's a sadness that that friend had leave.
well. dun be too sad.
because he's not totally gone.he's still living in everyone's of your heart.

sians.mr chua did hv the power to make me cry
i hardly cry.hao bu rong yi bear untill cant cry
now he make me cry
his words is hurt. but understand that he meant well for me.
idun blame him.
well wrote a letter to him that. i had come up to here so far.
i wont give up my A MATH der.
i believe i can do it. [[eli said " believe in urself"]]
well other than him, no one said that to me.
she reminded me of wad he said. haish.
yes i do. and i can. =)
SS gona complete 3 chapt.
MATH im still working on the revision paper one >.< size="1">DAMN IT
WAD DUH HELL.
I DUN

DAMN IT
wads wrong with me.
SS chapt i only compelete on chap of revision
intend to study that what i think might come out for essay.

DAMN IT.
my math paper one.
i got so itterrible many wrong
wads wrong with me.

DAMN IT!
uhs. im not gona failed
thought of giving up
but im not . i dun want end up.
date failed. exam failed.
everything failed.
so wad if im a failure.so wad i hvnt chg totally
this time round im not fail.

NOT GONA.
im not gona to countinue thise ahbby personality of mine manns.
pls . mans . i dun want just words.

DAMN IT
WADS WRONG WITH ME?!
thought i said im not gona look at him.
thought i said im not bother. why do i still help him behind his back
thought i said im not care.
thought i said im not look across my window
thought i said im not gona put the book beside me whenever i sleep.
end up. i failed.
i help him still .
my eyes cant get off from him.
im still looking across.
im still worrying when it rain. when my head hurt

sickening. "wo zhen de zhen de heng tao yan ni"
the tone, the voice, the sound is still roaming in her mind.
All the memories too.
bad and good kept roaming and whirling. is tiring.
yeah. she took a deep breath.
think for a few second. and tell herself,he might not know how she had help him behind his back.depsite all shoutings and hatred he had for her. she said. that yes i do.i still love him. but it will be keeping silently to herself now.

QI SHI HAI HENG AI NI <3

haish. buais for now. =(

unblock me, wont you? =(

2007-09-26T01:47:00.000-07:00

edited post.

FUCK OFF. NAH BEI. CHEE BYE. KAOBEI UHS.
U ARE NOTHING BUT ONE BITCHY BITCH.
WHO CAUSE URSELF TO BE SHABBY.
LAM PA UHS!

mei you wo de chun zai
ni xiao de kai xin
kuai le de qi lai. jiu hao le.
ye xu , bu, shi zhen de, mei le wo.
ni de sheng huo you neng duo zhi duo cai, bu zai gan dao ren he de kun rao le.
kan dao ni kuai le, dan ran wo ye kai xin.
jia you bahhs! =)

my heart sank. i was on the brink of tears. i sobbed sorrowfully with a heavy heart.but it seems that the hurt is too deep to the pit that there's barely any droplets of tears rolliing down anymore. no more. i want to cry my heart out, but i know that if i give into my sorrow and pain , i will give in nd cried non stop. for now , there aint any words to express my agony.
intend to tell him that i might be admitted to the hospital soon. but since i made him so fed up and made his day so damn it and lousy he got me not to contact him lers. so i wont ler bahhs.

at this kind of situtation tell ler. so wad? i m not those who bo qu tong qing xin and let him dun hate me. tell ler ,so wad? he might just say. orhs.ok then u take good care of urselves bahhs.at this point this is the most he can say.wad can i do?
wo wu neng wei li uhs! sha xin he nana uo tou ding ler .
hai neng zhuo shen me? use to use his love to heal my wound. wad about now?
hatred or love?

So since i had step into his life,
i bring him nothing, but sorrow and pain.
i distrupt his life, and he do hate me that much.
seems that he have hatred for me that deep.
guess that he might thinking why would he fall for a gal like me , and must be feeling very regretful for knowing me, and letting me step into his life.
i know that by saying sorry means nothing or make up anything, but i still want to tell him im sorry. that wo rang ni de sheng huo shou dao le zhen me duo zhen me duo de ku rao.
Alright . im a bad gal.
defenitely a bad bad gal whom i cant compare with
just like he said im alr a proffessional.
im nothing in his life. by stepping into his life would make his life turn upside down , would turn his world into a a topsy tursy world. by stepping into my life, would bring him even more hatred and pain. i understand. im just a bad gal .a bitchy bitch. who is nothing but shabby.
perhaps other people are thinking im not worthwhile for his love towards me. does he thought the same way? maybe.... i dont know neither do i dare or want to make a wild guess.

i dun wish to care or bother anymore.
no more. throw bahhs. dun return bahhs.i got extra dic for nx yr O lvl.
just like what he said, dong xi zai, ren dou bu zai le.
you shen me yong uhs.okies im really a bad gal.
i dun care ler. i dun bother liaos.NO MORE.i wont contact him lers no more. wait till he contact me.
there aint any other alternative ways for such a bad gal like me.bitchy bitch.
hate me with all ur might . if by hating me can let u feel beta then go ahead
if u thk is a waste of time and energy, up to you. not my prob. none of my concern. no more.
really. i will contact u no more. but just to wait for you that day.

ru guo ni ye ting shuo,
you mei you xiang guo wo
ru guo ni xiang dao wo,
ni shi bu shi hui xiang dao wo dai gei ni de gan shang ne?
shi de hua, wo ning ke ni dang wo bu chun zai.mian de zi ji xin xiang le
zhen heng geng sheng.

shall end here todays.haish ='(

2007-09-25T05:11:00.001-07:00

aft those few words above.
me and him had a "tiff' again.
i rell dun know why and wad he want.
is third time lers.exam the following day sure got this stuff.
h's awhile cold and hot.
really just so dun know wad he want.
intend to tell him i might admitted to the hospital the next few days,but now.
he got me not to contact him.which mean once again i cld only wait for his contact again lers!
so therefore.no matter wad happen, if im wadeva or so i will get someone to tell him aft his O

no matter what.
how cold or how hot.
how he treat her
she put up she dun mind.
because.
BEndan loves shagua <3

2007-09-25T04:13:00.001-07:00

as i expected aft a so so happy day

following day is... SHI WANG.

nvm drop that. cuz i knwhow to cheer myself up!

by..hahas see below lorrs =P

bleahs!

yeah narain let me off early today,

which mean i dun hv to stay up till so late

and i can prepare for my eng exam soon

hahas.which is tml?

hahas. sians.

exam phobia again! worry. no more confidence.

dun ask me why! cuz i dun even know why.

come on .sheng uhs a la uhs gei wo li liang bahhs.

sians. wish wish ..i wish upon the sparkling star , the balloon fairy.

there' s one thg or one oer which i knw can make me feel beta. will it come true?

call.sms.hi bye.all can. as long as is from the per i wanted. ppl who know me well will know who ders.

sians. sleepy in class.

fall asleep in lit.heng uhs.narain nv scold me

thanks sir! =)

my mind was distracted again.like i said wang xiang zheng.

muhahas..

i realise that whenever i walk pass him i feel like laughing.

non stop

dun know why.his hairstyle is beta than before.

but still LOLS.

then today i realise i 2nd time FA HUA CHI.

i find that he's geting charming,esp when i saw him took off his spec with his new hairstlye

WAN MEI WU XIA UHS!

i then kept smiling to myself non stop.

alright im crazy okies.

i told my friend.

how i wish is like jeena say . "TEMP BREAK ONLY WAD"

sians. this shuai ge now temp doesnt belong to mine.

if he's still mine now.

i wld defenitely run ard and said.

I HAD A CHARMING PRINCE BY MY SIDE, AND I LOVE HIM!

if i were to intro to others.i wld had said.

HE'S MY DARLING AND CHARMING BOYFRIEND.WO AI TA!

but for now i cld only tell sawchiu and myself .my god. my darling is so charm. =P

[[darling.ur haorstyle is nice =))]]

2007-09-23T07:18:00.000-07:00

IM JUST SO SO HAPPY.
THANKS SHAGUA

hahas before i post anything i decided to post some pictures
if i dont manage to post smth i shall continue.emanwhile enjoy the pic first .hahas =D

MISS JESS photo.
ps:if u think that after viewing my pic u will vomit,having endless nightmares.
ur scress will burst, or any negative effects, it's best u dun view these pictures =)
THE pic is place accordingly from the most ugliest to the most prettiest ones.
muhahs.

and here goes her pic...

MISS JESS; in her white coat

JESSIE is SMILING

JESSIE IS SMILING AT THE MIRROR.

ahem;physics:angle of relfection is equal to angle to incidence =)

JESSIE's nature smile .

JESSIE:THE TOP RATE FROM THE

miss jess in white coat =D

MISS JESS; the michiveous && SunSHINE && HILARIOUS

WOOTS! =P

JESSIE; shine on me

JESSIE; IM THINKING ...

JESSIE; YEAH! the HILARIOUS ones

the top rate from the MISS JESS ; michiveous &&SUnshine&& HILARIOUS =D

TING WEI =))

TINGWEI; upside down. =P

TINGWEI; i love my watch =))

TINGWEI; missing you <3

TINGWEI ;im thinkning of you,boy. u made me smile :D

TINGWEI IS HAPPY!

hahas.i eat loads of delicious food today .

there's VEGETARIOAN FOOD FAIR held at tianhui and tianguo

glad that i dint went to tg , if not will bump into yi de

by then i will SOS again for my darling.in my mind.i will go berserk manns.

hahas.woots.alright all this while this's the only day i ate the most.

i ate to OTAK. hahas all hand made der.

then the ASAMFISH in wrap in the bana leaf =P

i even ate LAKASA [[ gosh the hot soup spilled on my pant. it was damn hot.it's boiling but i keep it mum and told jiayan im alright.hahas.dun wana anyone to worry,but in fact it was damn hot and pretty boiling.]]

i ate KOROPOK.

i ate chocoate fruit.

i ate XIU MAI.

i ate SUSHI

i ate many many more.

okies.it was once or twice a yr so eat loads.mummy only gave me 5 dollar coupuns

hahas wondering why i eat so much bahhs? SHAR WITH MY JIA YAN.hahas.

yeah! i saw JESSLINE.she brg her bf along to qiudao too.hahas

hmms.waiting for her pic . i took the pic with her.hehes!!!

Not only that, hahas. HE SMS ME!

i got shock.rub my eyes twice.am i dreaming? or is this illusion.

hehs.wahhs.hmms.wait a min

he got a1 why i must then got a1 or 2.

eks.not fair one ders.where got like that ones.

discuss with jk bro my compo.

dots somewhat bian ti

first time write so badly.and hors.

no link. chi cant ger disctinction so all the while must speak more mars.

why english?diaos -.-

aiyas but who care.wad matter most i APPRECAITE IT.hahas

i feel like running ard telling my gd friend. my darling msg me lers wors.

wana tok to him longer on phone.but thk will kana reject bahhs.becuase i had been rejected manytimes last timemiracle.lols. the reply for him consist loads of smiling faces.

cuz im really HAPPY.

[[hehes!!darling wana tell you.must JIAYOU too okies.hahas. all da best .bless that u aim and score ur goals.wana tell u .hahas. no matter what i will support u ders. lols . i will be right here for you whenever u need me,meanwhile must take care loads loads uhs. >.<>

MIRACLE.thanks mummy .

im touch. u actually helped me ransacked the filty bin?!

and search for my precious cherish heart necklace.

which dad had threw away.

you told me it shows that it's gone. i tot so too.

but then we MANAGE to FIND it BACK.

therefore so sorry to say that the words u said i dun take it seriously anymore.

if it really wanted it to be gone. why would we still find back

beside the bin is SHOO...

to find it back is just like hai do lao zhen uhs! =))

2007-09-22T03:16:00.000-07:00

okies.

ORAL- conversation.
1. tell me abt ur grandparent.

and i said. well . since young i had a grandfather.
but he died. because he drank too much alchol and contracted with cancer.
when my mum brought me to the funneral. i was still a kid.i dont know what's going on.few days later then my mum told me,because i kept pestering and ask her.
and of cos i felt depressed at that time. he really dote on me. though i dun like him becaus ehe is somwhat baised.cos he like seems to care more for my younger sister.however, he protect me.wheneven my dad wana punished me by asking me to kneel down ,he will defend for me and scolded my dad instead. when i threw tantrum,he will buy sweets for me =)

2. would u rather confide in ur friends or family?

and i said.friends.because parents tend not to be veru understanding.
as the elder of this family all they want is only to set a good example an be respondsible for everything.they kept on nagging days and night.no break.and they ask many many personal Q abt me and my boyfriend. ask untill veyr detailed.
whereas my best friend,she wont she will just listen or advice to me.
she wont ask untill detailed. and more. but i forgotten what i had said. hahas
[[well. i believe that i can say even better than that.but it's over nvm. guess i get a band 2 for it.sians aiming for band one . but it's alright as i know that i had tried my very best and effort =)) ]]

CHINESE PAPER

whoos.with my xing mu zhong de darling's dic nothing will goes wrong =)
is the timing! dots. sians.i chose newspaper report asking abt the aging population.saying that elderly in spore had manage to exren their life expectancy untill 80yrs old.comment pls. -.o
sorry. i hv no much comment.end up i wrote SS and GEOG thg inside.
usually i dont get more than 14 for ying yong wen,teacher said because wrong words.and dun hv ant profound words inside.so this time round i only act one sentence which is JIA YOU YI LAO,RU YOU YI BAO. =)
not profounnd enough, but at least there's still some chinese idioms inside.ahas.
comprehension. ask u to create one idiom on parents too , and i wrote "FUN MU GEI YU HAI ZI DE AI SHI WY TIAO JIAN DE".hahas

OKIES.chg topic. sickening.
today from toa pah yoh run untill orchard.dun hv physics!
bluff me.still said toa pah yoh hv.hehs kana "scolded" by sawchiu in food court. =(
i told her that the place she seating on is he seat der .and more.
then she said "ur laogong here,u still thk of others. how dare you uhs . dun wana talk to you lers" hahs.weis SAWCHIU. u oso mars.talk to that peanut. still dare to sae me! hahs.
sawchiu.hehes wana buy cloth for me ders.weis. but u save more more money first.
i still owe u present.will gib der.wont run away der.u man man lai first.hahas. dun want wait u become bomker like me.next time when u got many many money lers.then tell me hors.uhs then i allow u buy for me.rmb the soya ice cream? it fall off from the cone yst.WHOOS!
jia you for Ns uhhs. lets strive hard and enter same poly tgt . hehed =)

back here.i dun deny the fact that..yesh im thking of him days and night.
sometimes even before i went to bed i will look across to his block.
almost every night i guess.so near yet so far. hahas. few times i kept scolding myself.
dun thk of him ler lar.study!hahas.few days went to orchard.cini there.
memories came back. but i assure myself that. i still love him cuz i really love him.
not cuz of memories.im really scared.his feelings had fade towards me.is not that i dun trust him is feeling matter. just like i mention in my last post before. Love is not abt trust, but it cant be without trust.but there's still some fear.but then i told myself. what's mine will be mine,what's not will nv be.let fate be. let destiny be. what's meant will be. if we do hv the destiny and fate again,we met on the future.maybe just not the right time. though the thought of that makes me feels beta.but it made me feel even worse. dun know why. smile seems to be fading away.broken smile ,maybe? hahas. dun knw why too. When im sad or wana cried on bed at night .i will thk of our happy memory which i know it will make me feel defenitely beta. just one wrong sms to him . he did reply. aft i reply ,except that he might not reply again maybe he dun know wad to , dun want to, or doing some other stuffs.dun blame him. i hv no rights.
admit that jealousy did take place on thurs.how i wish im her. but i know im not. neither i can be. after all is just his friend.y wld i...?sians. guess he did that to me b4 and im missing it.i ran to FADZilla and told her.hahs she comfort me.thansk gal. i love you!hahas.

i also dun deny the fact that. though i had not been contacing him
i still do hv the temp and thoughts of calling or chatting.
but im just holding on to the temptation.i only knw im missing him days and night.
and im thking of him too. always. but badlyrecently. whever i go,as long as i told sawchiu smth. she will said me "UR LAOGONG HERE.STILL THK OF OTHER MAN!" haha.
bleah like i care.sawchiu u oso marrs,MAPLING parly train,but most of it , is buz of the GODLYPEANUT! bleahhs.still sae me. hahas.

[[ darling.hows ur revision.hahas o lvl ard the corner.study hard uhs .mms dun stress too uhs.
hmms. hahas i wana see u play bb.hehes. my bear bear lehhs.still at TV there uhs
if so,hao liao ler lar.stop putting there.wait he got JNG SHI,then u know uhs. my handsome bear bear dun wear specs derss.hahas.must take good care of urself ok!miss having dinner and chatting with you. love you <3]]

argHHH.i wana sae.

i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you
i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you

&& im still loving you.missing you infinitely <3

2007-09-18T05:45:00.000-07:00

okies.finally set a pw of 0204 in here.
erms,yeas 0204 stands for 2nd o april.
which represent something.and i guess this pw will be more easier for u guys and him to rmb as well bahhs.
wahhs.stress uhs. see uhs! todae 2 to 4 ppl were having their lunch, while im having my ss test,who got me to early departure last weeks.sians =(
then continue up to 4 got LIT! i simply love lit class today,hahas.
ohs.then continue to 6 self study!
now everyday got to stay back untill 6 lers.basically i only fail amath and e math.ok they are more concern about my E math,and i failed it. well was about to the boder line grade.but they said that im in danger zone,because we need sc math and mt to promote! uhs! then tml got ORAL. stress.pic discussion i had lost confidence in it liaos,wad to do. i need some support.
yeah.for those who know me well , will know i wana whose support derr bahhs.
then thurs got E and A math test! Fri MT EOY liaos.then next week more EOY exam coming.
and i realise that i still have MORE TO GO!SICKENING!
OKIES>STOP ALL SCH WORK STUFF>STRESS ENOUGH.
believe that next ys things will get even tougher.

yet,this whole week im lacking of sleep.why? basically i sleep at late nigth.wake up damn early.
then uhs. sigh.wad's wrong with me manns. in class not attentive enough!somewhat got distracted by his stuff these few days for no reason.think i got wang xiang zheng.nvm.
haish.confide in sawchiu alot.thanks SAWCHIU for comforting me abit bahs.LOLs.aiyas she now gona be xing fu soon lers. while im waiting here to wait for mine to come back. i saw smth . and i think it's defenitely right .
"love is not trust.but it CANNOT be WITHOUT trust"
i told her i admit the since the entire break that days after .
i did ask myself.i love him still or is she just still living in the memories?
i did ask myself.i do love him or do i have feeling for him still.
i did have the thought of giving up too.i was thinking if he do have feeling for me or had fade totally.INITIALLY.my ans was, NO. i no longer love him . i had no more feeling for him. she had forget him.

But LATER ON, i realise that she could no longer decieve herself.
each time her friend told her ' i saw ur boyfriend at ....", or "how's u and ur bf"
all Q that got to do with him,her heart started to tremble. xin dou zai fa dou.
each time she see him, her heart was bumping.she was hoping he wont get to see her ,but in fact in her heart she was expecting him to turn his head and talk to her.at least a smile or hi.
she's happy too.
and each time it rain ,my first thought will be him.
i still start to think dun tell me that he's drenched running in the rain again.
when my head ache, i still think of him.how about him is his head feeling better isit reacting or so.
when ppl played or bully me. i will started to call "UHS! i want my dalring~" "where is my darling" ...
Whenever i saw some boys playing BB i wld run there hope to see playing the Ball too.
and many more to list. then i realise that i was just deceving herself for the sake of running away from the worries and pain.but now i decided to face the reality.face the fact. be true to my own feeling. the truth was actually i still do love him still and dun wish to forget him.i decided to endure and wait.regardless wad the outcome will be, as long as i thinks that this path is worth for me walk on ,i will walk with no regrets. if enduring is a pain or toturing in the first place, then i wldnt had choosen to wait. i am stuborn like an OX. therefore once my stand is firm , nothing shall change my mind.

i even told her that if we dint got a chance to patch, never and dun say sorry to me because im to blame for not cherishing him the right way in the first place.
but if we get a chance to patch and be back together i would like to tell him that thanks for letting me love him right once again.lets put the unhappiness past behind continue and move on to welcome our new love life story.

Wherever i go.
the SECRET is driving me crazy.
passer by walk pass me even mention it
whichever shop i walk pass also played the songs!
even my sawchiu lg also teast me with it.
sians. sawchiu dun wan u buy disc for me. u niid to save money ders.
jk bro wana treat but i dun want.
no matter what i INSISTED i told my friend.i trust him.he say will buy means will buy der
will watch with me means will ders. in terms or whatever status are we. i trust him
im not gona to doubt any single thg like what i did in the past lers!NO MORE.

my friend ask me these.
arent u afraid that he might change his heart?
arent u afriad that feeling might fade?
and my answer was as long as we trust each other,and we still have each other in heart
things might get well.i do have faith and have trust in him. he wont run away ders.
no matter what he will give me an answer.
"LOVE IS NOT TRUST,BUT IT CANNOT BE WITHOUT TRUST"

In my heart,he's forever my darling. he's irreplacable.
Just got to endure for weeks only. i believe i can do so.meanwhile i only wish that he's fine and healthy.darling pls if u are reading this , dun overwork or so ,ehs? dun blame me for nagging or so . keep repeating the same point of not to overwork or so. cuz im really afraid and worried for you. i dun want ur head to pain agian,though i dun know how hurt it feels but i know it can be very painful.and u kept thinking of JIAN FEI for wad!~sians. if u are fat i wldnt had want you lohhs. XD but even if u are fei, no matter what u turn into i will still love you. appearance doesnt matter much . u really got charming side lars. even ur mummy thk so.bleahs =P
eat ok? hahas.anyway i believe u will still eat somwhat cuz u seems to love to eat.esp when the food is yummy hahs.how i wish i can see u play and trippling the basketball again.hahs must take care load uhs.meanwhile will miss you loads ders X)

my eyes vision is blurry right now
my health is not that good recently.
so now i shall stop blogging here
and continue tml?
hahas.tc and night! =D

2007-09-15T05:13:00.000-07:00

Before i start gona post the pic that alice and me took yst .hahas ..and here it goes sha la la la~

Jess with Alice ; smile =)

Jess With Alice ; The gals =D
The vintag pic. =)

Jess with Alice; ah bash!

okies.DONE!

and now my day goes like this...

LOLS.
just chat with serwee a while online
longtime nv chat with her lers.LOLS.
ohs!YEAH.HAPPY 16 BADAE TO SAWCHIU!
uh huhs.morn.all of them were late.diaos.hahsa.but nvm lars.
aiyas. wells. saw her walking at the bridge.called her names.
and then. hahas. wells. perhaps im not a good liar?
ok she seen thr me,dots.aiya.yrs lers.nt surprising at all nars.but at first i manage to trick her
that was gd enough.hahs.photos all those with alice.waiting for her to send me =))
hehes.ps! i dint send gibb u any present yet.but u are desiring for that watch ,ehs?
LOLS.hahas.happy and HIGH.
Went to TOWN! along the way, the staff from BOSSINI were giving away lolipops.ops. hahas.
we collect over ten sticks.they kept distributing.woots.yumy yum! and thenwe were like crazy girl~ taking their balloons.
it's simply so sickening,but fun =))
erms. hahas. then we went to CLARK QUAY [isit spell that way??hahs.i'd forgotten]
we went to the new mall.it was not fully open yet.i mean the shop!we went to the river by.
hehes.ppl were on the boat they were so friendly.and we wave to each other.mad,ehs?
lols.
we hold two balloon each,and i decided to let off one. woows. we wish upon a balloon and let it fly off. high high high.the balloon seems to fly beyond cloud ! hope that our wish had been recieved. on my whole journey i kept singing.AI WO HAO MA.hais it said out my thoughts and feels.and then sawchiu was like addicited.lers.woows~=))
then we went to causeway.hahs on our way we she were talking abt her peanut. and im talking my own ders.hahas. we share how they confess,looks and loads more.hahas.we saw many budget accessories.mend for prom night?hahas.and we decided. buy from there next there.
hahas.SAWCHIU ur BDAE! must CHEER UP!dun bother both of them lers lars.
u this yr N lvl must get below 10 pts ders wors.if not how to get to sec 5?MUST GET altright
i wana to be in the same POLY as you ders ,ehs?okiies. hahas
YEAh!hahas. gona do my own work lers.
take care =))

[[Shagua.sians.i miss u loads.heard that ur mummy ask u for opinion on specs colours.aiyas.hahas.she asked me too.lols.i wana said oranage.but then i find it somewhat abit guai? wana white at first.but then i said beta NOT.hahas.cuz hmm.ya. lols.guess now u must had been work hard and play hard as well! take
care uhs. i miss you loads =)) qi shi hai ai ni<3]]

okies.today most sickening thg is. her friend play and tells her that the bu neng shuo de mi mi de disc is out! she played the song. a starnger walked pass and talk abt it. and said " ohs.bu neng shuo de mi mi uhs?" she walk pass the shop and she heard the song too! diaos -.-
her friend wana buy disc for her. her somewhat bro at first wana watch withher though he had watch with her gf.but she insisted NO.cuz she believes that one day he will watch with her.in regardless of what status.he said before he will buy,and he will.he said he might would had watch it with her. and she knows he surely will.she trust him . and have faith in him. she's not gona suspect if had he buy and dint ask her over. or so. she just simply trust what he said! lbeahs XD

2007-09-14T05:04:00.000-07:00

well.friend.supposingly shd be fine.
but bcuz of feeling dun wana tok.
it simply hurts alright.
but she accept it cuz at least she knows wads going on.
drop that topic.just hope thgs will get well for the gals bahhs.

CHA JIAN ER GUO de feeling.
WEI ZHUANG de feeling.
feel so eeks! not that they or perhaps she
cant brought up herself.just that. hais. hard to say.
but this kind of feeling simply feel so ..duhs.
type "i miss you" all these. in that msn window without entering it.
look stupid.but she's still doing it? -.- diaos

AMATH.thanks for mr chua who had not been giving up on me.
though i got zero for it i appreciate it. =))
tml celebrate sawchiu birthday in the morn.whoas.her birth wows.
recalling back to my own ones too.

sickening lars.tml will be beta.SAWCHIU badae lehhs.give it a smile =))
alright i know that's being stupid and lame.continue blogging =))
SHE MISS HIS TEAchINg in CHEMISTRY.he taught well.
&& JESS; jovial.QI SHI HAI AI NI

[[shagua.today got eat or not?hahas. dun worry u wnt turn fat der lars.try to turn in early,ehs?must take good care of ur health wors.r,b to dry ur hair before u went to bed.and sleep with some cloth of u pls~ if u didnt.misstalkingyouyou.missdinnerwithyou.iloveyou]]

will a puff or drink really solve?

2007-09-13T03:54:00.000-07:00

sians,if she had know she wouldnt had chose to early depart todae. get accused.and her mummy shouted loudly in the car,in sch dun noe for wad. wads more i do nth. if not for the pain is reacting all over.alright.somwhat serious pain.though she look perfectly alright.is just trying or acting to put on an strong front.if not for thisshe wont early depart too.forget it next time even if she pain untill she faint off. she also wont call them and ask for early depart. they dun bother.they just keep on accusing her only.well get use to it.dun wish to complain much.no use anyways. wads more. Doubt there's any one more person bother.

SCIENCE DAY TODAY! Reach home early.of cos do her revision wells.miracle. her could just seat down there for almost 3 hrs and just revise and study for her chemistry.alright ocvered two chapters lers. at night gona continue. u may still call or sms her if you want to. dun worry =) A math.sickening.i shd prepare ONE WHOLE DAY for a math. if not VP gona see me or mdm chin gona see my parents again then i kana again.sians uhs.

she can hear her stomach making noises! never got a proper meals for days.no appetite for this few weeks.haiis. nvm faint lers also nobody knows nobody cares.she will hv a feast appeitie..only when..muhahs. those who know her will know ders.XD alright gtg off. =)

[[Darling, hmms.must eat ,ehs?LOLS. aiyas, gain fat then excercise lors. u not really any that fat anyways.if u are ..erms... hahas.nvm.aiyas just eat dun like me now cant eat anything much.im sure u wont become like me ders lars. u love to eat. hahs.AHHHH....feel like watching u playing BB!sians.i miss having dinner with you wors.but now i dun thk can bahhs. wait aft ur O lvl.sians.UHS! i miss you so much =) <3>

YES i do! i still do love him <3

2007-09-12T09:34:00.000-07:00

Not forgetting today.
he expected.and she knows he will yet still take the risk.
somehwat tele?
she aboard the bus and alight at the next stop
then kana caught by WOSONG SIR! sians -_-"
surpringly, shagua still know how caught ppl.
diaos

her friend ask her what happen to your bf,hows u and boyfriend
and her reply was obviously yeah,thought i told u before we break quite a while.
so he's no longer my bf?hahas.
but then she replied, but TEMPORARY only what. -_-"
how she wish is also temp.how she wish after exam can be back tgt.
how she really wish is also temp.but is WISH.it's UNCERTAIN yet.
The only one thing person can certain is the uncertainity.

shd she said that she is happy or depress or worried.
it seems that all sort of feelings arouse is her heart and mind.
happy because she talk to him just now.though she dun seems to cherish but she does alright.
well.Hey hey hey. is not a toture talking to u alright
she's just overjoy to the moon.and her legs was trembling but u dint see it .
bleahs. she's eager to go,cuz really cuz of thy bus and also she alr expected the bus will be full house again. beside her legs were trembling.
depressed because.alright partly sad too.cuz of these words" thinking be with u too long lers. maybe sometime wad u say not sure if is the fact mars. " diaos -_-"
okies.depressed cuz this few weeks she seems dman alright. and happy and fine.but deep in her heart. she was like damn depressed.In order not to cry she filled up her emtyness and sadness with the happy memories they had together.like she wrote to him in the card before.
she wont cry,whenever she gona to she will think of the happy memories.
hais. whoas. she wana thanks u for the drink.
is it tele? LOLS. she was dhytrating from thirst manns.and u bought her a gape QOO~ whoas.
it save her . and it filled her empty stomach somehow.and tonight she really didnt loiter and she listen to u after being caught by you alright. trusy her for this time round okies~

he told her that no.he's not looking pale or so.
he's very happy . 0.o
if he's really happy jiu hao.he's so happy perhaps...blah blah blah
wana know go ask her urself.hehes cuz she dun want her or them to see it =)

thanks friends who do concern and understand her.hahas.
yeahs.though she seems to be alright and fine and happy ,ehs?
but she's not.guess she will be alright soon.
yeah.she's worry sick or scared.thinking if he had lost her feeling towards her totally.or does he still love her or have some feelings for her.but she knew she cant ask at this time.yes or no.eveything after O lvl. we shall know.

she do ask herself Questions.
like. do i still love him or am i just living in the memories?
shd i give up? do i really still love him?
Initially she thought YES. she dun think she love him anymore.she thought she was just living in the memories.but as time went by,she realise that she could no longer decieve herself.
the actual answer is NO. and yes she do! she still do love him and have feeling for him
she dun deny the fact that she was badly hurt and somewhat numb before.but the thought of it she knew she was to blame for those hurt.and then she came out with this certainity answer.
YES! I DO LOVE HIM STILL.WILL BE WAITING WONT REGRET.
she not gona care how ppl look or depise at her. how those girls who were pursuiting for him out there. how ppl critisize her. her love still remains. she will still go on with no regret.
she told herself.she's gona chg for the beta.and if they manage to get back tgt, this time round she defenitely knows how to love him right. and would cherish even more than ever.

[[ Darling, hmm.know what is tou feng lers hors? so bath next time but dry ur hair if not will end up like me.wait become bian tou tong then u know uhs. and hors.again ni you lai liaos.
no matter what u turn into,even into a big fat pig XD. i will still want you ders.hahas.but i know u wont ders. hahas.night.ashiteru,my boii 520 <3>

nothing on this earth can compare with you.words cant even express on all that how i feel my love for you. <3

2007-09-11T10:41:00.000-07:00

Alright it now going 2 am and im still not sleeping.

whoas.get stuck by this laptop.went to senja and then greenridge.haiis.tiring.

STUDY. intend to complete another part of chpater one for math today.

but i didnt manage to.

Meet saw chiu at ard our estate.

kinda do my chi hm wrk.complete my reamaining work and handed up to teacher.

hahas.

But then later on she confide in me and cried. ='(

i went to buy the tissue for her.and then when i was abt to reach her.

i trip and fall. hahas.my back was hurt again.

sigh.nbvm.it's alright.im okies and find ,saw chiu,ehs?

hahas

SAWCHIU. uh huh. u cant lied to me,

i alr knew smth was not right down there.

OHs wells.listen up gal.dun worry.

u arent that bad as you think.be more optimistic.that was you isnt it?

hahas.dun worries.i will be there for you whenever u need me =)

CHEER UP.it pain to see you so sad.SAWCHIU cheerup.sayangs.hahas.

Later on, i realise my chemi book is at that shagua's hm.

wells. dun dare to sms or call him

intend to blog here.but afraid he might not hv the time to take a look at these post.

for he might be busying PLAYING GAME,WATCHING TV or even STUDYING.

end up saw chiu called him for him,and ask if he wld like to talk to me.

lols.his respond was "YES" lols. alright in madrain =)

hahas. i got so nervous.im mumbling and my hand was like a vit of shaking and i got hold of sawchiu's hand.okies i know it sounds exergrating.but then really nervous.

talking to someone u love and u guys had not been talking a while.out of a blue moon u guys talk on the phone.it was like blah blah blah and there it goes sha la la la. =D

hehs.Defenitely hv a sweet dreams tonight.though it was only a short while.okies.uhms perhaps abit of distrupition because he end with his joke, kb bye.DOTS -_-"

is the word Kb that let me feel ya blah blah blah.

but nvm. anyway i finally got to talk to him and get to meet him to collect my book tml! yipees!

heys u shd be BANDAN.cuz u copyright me talking in a mumble way.Not SHAGUA.

bleahs XD

YEah.frank.i had been holding my temp of contacting him

and was worrying sick for him somehow?

cuz he look a bit pale.guess he's sick or stress bahs.

hope that he's alright and fine.

and i dont know why recently i had a strong feeling of wanting to see him playing BB.but never mins i once had a few click of his tatics ways of playing BB in the basket court before.i just got to click and then the pitures will come out hahas.

beside.yea.feeling down.but the thought of our HAPPY MEMORIES made me feel somehow better.

hahas.

Time to bed and enter my sweet sweet dream land =)

THANKS TO HIM =D <3

[[Shagua.uhms.it kept raining these few days or shd i say week.try not to drenched urself or walk in the rain too much,ehs?i'll be there for u when u need me too <3> wait ur head pain.and rmb DUN OVERWORK urself like u do last time.if u thk playing BB can let ur head not that pain then go ahead.hahas.SLEEP EARLY uhs.DUN BURN TOO MUCH MIDNIGHT OIL.not good ders.gona sleep lers.nIGht <3]]

2007-09-08T02:05:00.000-07:00

SOS.
HELP!
i dun want to go to that talented little man's crush house.
eeks! i dun want.so what if he's talented and dashing.
my god.in my eyes only got my precious.
my mind is only whirl with my darling right now.
sickening!
bring helicotor to save me pls!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

2007-09-07T03:24:00.000-07:00

Went to pray to godness of mercy,
bless my family friends and lover.
to stay healthy
bless that the world can be peace.
and went home after that.

Thanks boi.
for enlightening me.
im just being zui ying.
think u know that.
my lit 90 =))
thank you.

Beside only then i finally know and see thr myself
im that shabby.and my life in terms of love affair or family or friendship is so crumle is all because of my personality.Hope it's not too late still.
btw im just releastic to only a certain extend.
and some matters.

A ship cant do without a captain.
A child cant do without a mother or a father.
A wife cant do without a husband.
A family cant do without a captain too.
and the captain is the Father
who go through winds and storm to earn his hard earned money for this family.Who always lead the family when there in terms of crisis or good time
NOTHING GOES RIGHT WITHOUT THE FATHER
just like NOTHING GOES RIGHT WHEN THE SHIP IS WITHOUT A CAPTAIN.
if the ship is without the captain the ship will sink.
and in this family.Without my daddy , the family will break up.

There,in here.if u are reading this i would like to apologize to you.
that im sorry. alright.i know sorry wont cure and i know wad u excatly want. i will try to do it with all my best and give what u wanted. and pls do a consult a doc.dun other my sickness.my sickkness is just a small little case.im still young there's still time to heal.But in this family all of us are important,but u as a captain,we cant do without you.

2007-09-04T23:44:00.000-07:00

no more words to describe how i feel.
is alr down to the pit,that i even myself couldnt even aknowledge for who am i.
im alr more crazy than ever.

sat going to the childhood little crush boy's house again.
i dont want.i only want his helicotor!
sat going for check up again
eeks! i dont want.
it hurts alot.it hurt more than u think it hurts.

if everything could turn back to the past.
there's lot of thing about me i would like to change.
if u ask me again would i love the same person.
i would just said yes.

what's urs will be.
what's not will never be.
When your time's up,you have to go.
If you did good deeds.hevaen might consider to revieve your life.
what's your will always be yours.
What's not will never be.
But of course, i wont seat down there and wait.
Some thing you have to fight for yourself.
When thing's is unsolveable,you just have to wait.
nothing cant be solved.
but for those who dont have much time life
how are they are going to wait?
therefore, they have to live their life to the fullest as long as they are still alive.

some people are born to feed with silver spoon.
some people are born to beg for their entire life.
good,bad is all destined by heaven once born.
never blame parents for borning me, neither do i blame the society to be unfair.
life,fate and destiny are all in the birth chracters once born.

goodbyes =)

2007-09-04T02:43:00.000-07:00

Friendster Question.
what if ur boyfriend did these because he wana help out her good gal-friend?

1.Hold hand?
uhms.it's alright for me.i can take it.
2.Hug?
uhms.Mian Qiang lars.
3.Kiss?
NO WAY! i forbid.because he's only mine =)
and more Q.not done yet =))
4.What he if betray you?
No he wont. i trust him.

Last Question.
What would u like to tell him?
Boy,if possible i just only u to be my only and last romance =)

uh ohs.more question.not yet done.that's why i skip to the last Question

Today i got my report card from mS tan.
gosh.it was tremendously badly done.
wells.thanks god.at least i got 90 for her lit =))
first time.thanks to my darling.and my last min work.woots.
not going anywhere right after school.
went home.
i groan in pain on the bed.i couldnt even stand up.
her back was aching damn tired.horribly.
that i cried cuz is terribly pain.
thanks god her mum came in time and last min called the doc.
sent me to the doc
well.saddenings.something's wrong with my kidney and head again.
my left side of the kidney is getting weaker.
btw her back is still aching! dots.

The minute i reached home and on my phone.
one msg came in "back :) "
i was still in a daze,who the hell is this.
then i realise that yipess!it was my precious fly back lers.
i squeeze my face into the pillow and smlie.
whoos~yeah.he's back.i miss him back.
uh ohs. a gentle reminder gal.
sicce he's back,he got to study =))
hope to recieve his call.doubt so.
bcuz there put "-" means "in a call"
after all it's just a hope =(
unless there's miracle.

UHms.uh ohs.
Gals,listen up again.i understand how you feel.
im sick and dun wish to repeat much.
i dun deny the fact that yes i still love him.
i dun deny the fact that i made him hurt and fustrated at time.
i dun deny the fact that he hurt me too in some ways.
i dun deny the fact that im happy with him.
i dun deny the fact that im still waiting for him.
and if the answer is positive i sure say " wo yuan yi" if the answer is negative,
i will still love him.
i dun deny the fact that i if he migrate i will get upset and wait for him still,unless he hold another gal's hand and fly back.
i dun deny the fact that,i really still love him deeply and willing to wait for him! and no regrets!wo wei ta jian qiang jiu bu pa xi sheng.
but heys.see.if u manage to win his heart,then go ahead.i dun deny that i will get hurt too.but at least i know u found ur happiness.
i wont stop you neither will i do by all means to break up you two.
i wont be the third wheel. i will bless u both instead.
so dont worry ,ehs?
but if u didnt manage to win his heart,is either you will move him one day.
or you might want to look for ur Mr Right again. before u fall even deeply ,ehs?
Just dont worry and cheer up,ehs?

uhms.back aching.praying that i will recieve my precious call.
got to go >.<

[[darling come back jiu hao bahs.rest well.after days of journey can be a bit tired os so?hopeu have enjoy urself down there.take care wors.]]

alright.here you see.
im not sure if it's getting any worsen and will i be admmited to the hospital.
after thy so call pro doc had say that much.
about my back and kidney and head.
uhs.a promise was made that i hv to tell him
but he got to study and i dun wish to disturb him[uh ohs.though i did] or make him worry.
so should i still?

2007-09-02T01:25:00.000-07:00

Girls, if you manage to win over his heart.
then go ahead.Though she might get hurt,
but she bless the both of you.
so dont bother to find her and ask her even more,ehs?
if you didnt manage to win over his heart,
dun be disheartern,perhaps he will be move by you one day
or find another guy before ur feeling falls deeper. =)

Each time she read other ppl's blog.
how sweet they were tgt.
how happy they were.she's envious.

Each time she saw couples during the break time in the classes.
she dun want to stay in the class.
cuz she know she will be over envious.and thinking back herself she will depressed.

Thinking the scene she kiss the rain,dash across the road.
despite the slippery road made her nearly trip.
she still continue running in the raining, and went to find thy cooling gel.
he shows no apprecation.
If he's really not apprecating it, she got nothing to say.
most imporantly is not if he do appreciated or not.
is that he's pink in health again

She kept making him fustrated.
she dun mean it,but she still does it.
not on purpose.even before he fly over,
to attend somthing, she even made him angry.
when she even have the chance to apologize he said never mind and bye.
it hurts.nothing she could do.
She told him when he's back sms her
perhaps after he fly back he had cool down but dun feel like msging her as he said he will?
she dont know.she just wish he can tell her that's he back,at least she know he's safe and sound.
if he did not,neither will she contact him again not unless very impt or she's terribly sick.
Because she dun want her love to get fustrated by her again.each time he got fed up she will feel depress she will feel guitly and hurt. she will start thinking all her fault.why made his annoyed again.she dun want him to get hurt or annoyed again,becuase she knows that he is studying for this impt exam. So she wont contact him unless very impt or she's terribly sick.Not till he contact her himself.

Sometimes she even thinking why other girls can,
and then she cant.
and sometimes she thought to herself.
if they were together one day,
she could only bless them.

Each time she wana cried or hurt herself,
she swallow her tears and not to do things silly.
For she knows if she give in to her sorrow she will give in non stop,
cry non stop, and no energy for studying.
she also know that if she hurt herself again,
he might get annoyed and unhappy about it .
her friends will worried for her too.

Whenever to make herself not to cry or hurt
she will just think of the happy past they had.

For now there's nothing she could do,
but just to wait untill their date. and love him silently.
she not gona or wana to know who's will be the next passer by to be her next charming prince.
because he left her with an in complete dreams.
and she knows that her heart is already lock to him.
there aint any key to open her heart for anyother passer by again.
because she knows too that,she still love him

[[Darling,u fly back lers mars? i miss you.hmm.study study and study.but dun forget to eat,and dun lei huai urself like last time anymore,ehs? Dun force urself too much ,if u are.take care wors.my boii =)) ]]

2007-08-31T00:12:00.000-07:00

CROSS COUNTRY!

yeah!she thought she wouldnt make it to the top hundred or not even the last of hundred.

but she make it =))
her asthma was up.wait till her asthma was gone she stop down.
and she continue her runnings.
thanks to her him.
he is her motivator.
when he run past her .
the thought the the night walking to have their dinner made her wana run even faster.
when coming to thy finishing line,she thought of that too,thinking of how he "mock"
at her by saying her running is equal to the speed that he runs .
made her runand rush even more.
yeah.finally she got a bottle.
and there come she is in the top hundred! =))

2007-08-30T04:17:00.000-07:00

kissing in the rain right after two
dash across the road.looking from shop to shop.
finally i find the thing which i want.
rush back before the clock struck 1/2 of the quarter.
look like a drenched chicken.
car horn.
wadeva
i dun care.
wad most is i feel that it's worth it
no gona matter how ppl look at me.
silly or stupid.drwanched chicken.or even crazy girl
wad matter most is the person who is the most important in my life and i love in this life. is safe and sound.
and then i have no worries.
this little life of mine is nothing.

fever 37.5 degree =))
haleluya~

2007-08-29T02:06:00.000-07:00

MSG TO SHAGUA.
NOBODY ASK U TO TAKE UP ON SO MANY MEDICINE LARS.
DRINK MORE WATER AND REST WELL LARS.
U SHD CALLED BEN DAN! NOT ME.>.<

Exhusating.i cant keep my eyes wide and open.wads more i somehow cried yst night.and then today.
feverish.seems thay it cant be gone.
and as days goes by it''s higher.dots.
headache too.[[Cum heartpain.yest cum he's still sick]]
uhms,LIT Mr narian go throught the unseen prose.
which was give my mrs choo when he never came.
and i was absent from her class because of my leg
haiis.then i realise that the whole class had pass up
and they told me LONG TIME AGO -_-"
it's GRADED ASSINGMENT. wads more i haven even attempt to any Q yet.
therefore i quickly do for him
thanks to hubby that i know how to write and eleborate when coming to the impression of the certain character. as a result im able to quickly come out a few points for him
and for part B. alright. though im not sure of how to do.but i just tried.
MATH.teacher gona close the bearing chap too.and im still like somewhat in a mist.
gona study myself.yups.gona prepare my revision materials soon.if not im dread.
ENGLISH.gosh.summary draft.headache uhs.
im introuble for that. gona buck up.
uhms.
yeah ! i found my wallet! some good soul return it the cck control station.
all contents are inside.hehes.that's what i called good in return
i once found someone's link card and return to the office too =D
later on,went to meet SACHIU! meet her home.not goning for CO.
cuz im really too too sick.SICKENING.
got to complete my math Q in time.and hand up tomorrow.
uhms.yeah! blur sotong.
i kept sending msg to wrong recient.wad duhhs.
so paiseh.aiays.anyway he get use to it lers.
next time will check twice again and again before i send anything to my friends ders.
dots.

Cant wait for tommorow!
sawchiu had book the badminton court at cck stadium!
gona vent out all my anger on that racket and ball! =P
bleahs.
hehes.Friday CROSS COUNTRY!
are you guys ready to run?hohos.
today PE. and there they they even run 10m away.it pours heavily
uhm.later still have to go out to study with my sawchiu.
to contact me later.if u cant get me,and u were once given permission to contact me through me,u may =D
hahas =D yeah!
thinking of the day being with her,certainly make me feel better.
though she might not have any advice at times,but she never fail talk talk craps and do lame stuffs to make laugh.uhms.want me to teach u chemi uhs?
No gurantee.like i said, i had improved from fail to pass.so i will teach only for wad i know uhs
UHs.dun know DUN HIT ME wors.LOLS.
===========================================

What Do You Of This Type Of Guys & Your Guy Belong To?

Guys who are talented in music, physical and academic.

=) uhms. okies. of course i do find them quite remarkable.and is somewhat Mr perfect.
in charcater wise.if their att jsut simply sux.or bec ayse they are too talented that they kept having undwelling thinking high opinion's of oneself.Their gifted talent is wasted.

Guys who are Active and Sporty,with good moral values.
=D hehes.Of cos i would find them fun to be with.active and sporty guys ceratinly wont make a girl feel bored.perhaps they tends to be more romance in some ways and defenitely wont behave a a dead log when courtshiping a girl or is in relationship.hohos.

Guys who are neddy and kept themselves study in the room.
=) hehes.of cos i would that boy BORING! it just simply so neddy and kept themselfes study in the room?my god. i wouldnt be one of them.is good to kept oneself study in the room,but no whole day long please. and for such guys sometimes i sees them as anti social?
because they are being too reserved almost all times? even though they are not,they dun have to be neddy,ehs? perhaps they should try be be fashion,spike up hair and so.and then lalala~
from a neddy boy to a dashing boy? there had been cases like this wors

Guys who are anti social.
=) uhms.guys who are anto socal and only talk more with the one they know or ease at.
uhms,sometimes mixing around . good or ave company pls. might benefits them in the future or society.and i find anti social guy quite sort of boring too.Imagine you had a bf who is damn quiet?wuold u get siock of it as time goes by?

Guys who are sociable.
=D They are guys who defenitely can be somewhat fun to be with .
sometime they never run ourt of tiny tiny little ideas or topics to talk and chat about!

Guys who do have att or and moodswings at time.
=) yeah~ sometimes they just being too FREAK out.which girls feel like stanggling them,
and now a days guys tends have more moodswings or perhaps more emo than girls?
to love them and be their Gf, u need to have the powers of endurance and patience.ur love for them have to like mother nature.and well.sometimes the more you insist the u want them to be the more rebellance they are,therefore u have to be soft hearted with them,and never step on their landmine,if not both of u will quraeel and he will go mad. just remember to calm youself down and have loads of unlimited patience and endure their att.just try to be calm as having a heart like a mother nature. and perhaps eveything will be fine and smooth.

Guys who are flirt
=) uhms.flirt? there's barely any girls who do like flirt guys
friends will do.
and sometime though they are flirt,but they do become a good friends will do.

Guys who loves are humourous.
=) Sometime guys who are humourous, do make you feel "cold" at time
cuz of their lame crappy sometimes they might even make you HIGH FUN DAY when you are feeling sad or low.muhahas.

MY GUY IS:
[[etc.Character wise?what he like?What type of guy he is?]]
a mixture.he do keep himself study in room.but provided when he's preparing for his exam or when during revision.he's not a nerd though he like to be one.
he do have his charm!uhms.though i cant possibly state down all what he like here.but there's one thing i oculd state here and i kow that i would never go wrong by saying he do love VIVAN HSU! woots.yeah! he's hunmourous.Cold and high at times.
sometimes when im sad he never fail to make me laugh or cheer me up with his crap.he's talented in arts and in many other ways which sometimes he himself never know and i spotted it.sometimes he somewhat critisized himself,which i think a part of his talent.one day he will know and realise it without me telling him ders bahs.yeah! he's active and sporty.he played my beloved BB.hahs.he's good at it. simply love to watch him play ball now a days,find it charming! =D
uhms.nahs.he's not flirt,he just have some girlfriends.so do i a few boyfriends,but that doesnt make me a flirt,ehs?and i do have faith that he wont betray me because he's a devoted guy and quite passionate. =) definitely he's sociable,if not we would not get to meet each other,and able to began out story.character wise.uhms? alright.
he's ambtious.yeah~ though att and moodswings at times,but guess he dun mean it perhaps he do have "pms"?joking.joking.lols.couldnt care less.I just simply LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS.

Closed Topic =D
--------------------------------
is she really a disturbtant to him like what they say?
or is just that he merely not in a good mood and then behave in this state
when he's sick.she's heartpain
she can feel the fever. the degree hotness.
though she cant feel her pain, but looking at him groaning in time
is just like every spike spiking in her heart.
she gona cry,but she know cant,she got to stay strong.and she know if she cried he will get even more sick and stres.so she's gona bear it.she not gona to let him worry for her
Though she sob.she still fear of silent.and a conversation came out with anything that they had to stop meeting each other, and so.
hey there! but she's trying to be optimistic alright
She's sad.but she guess that let time be.
things will cool down and be resolved like the previous ones.
and perhaps things will get back the same as before bahhs.
uhms.he's flying to SAWADIKA soon.will be missing him!
hehes.wait he kana flood by the hot chili and face burst into read coulour.
woots.that would be cute,isnt it?
hahas.uhms.or he come back to be like very manly? because of SUN TAN
hahas.

[[Darling. hehes. will be flying off in four more days time.hehes.will be missing and dreaming of you ders.wana wedges?wait u fly back have liaos.hehes.take good care of my precious watch wors.ohs.hubby!what about our bearbear zen me ban?!hahas,u gona bring it for a tour too?LOLs.uh huhs,u got to fly there and try their food lor wors.like u told me before that u wana fly to all aplces and try their signature dish which were finger-licking good,ehs?faster cine back.dun let me miss you too much,wait u sneeze even more.muhahas. =)) ]]

Ms Jess__ tons of homework to rush. pile of studying to be done!

2007-08-27T02:51:00.000-07:00

Disapponted.uhms,okies. coming to my result first
MT compo.FIST TIME! got just pass =(
alright.wrong words.nvm. put that aside. cuz i know how to write it right
prob is teacher says no profound words or sentences which actually make me feel diao =_=" freak out.alright . teacher tml test i will give you loads of PROFOUND words and sentences.but dun worry.of course have link derrs.
Next,PHYSIC i still dun understand wad is miss marina teaching.
the AC gens.whole chapter. only can use one word to describe. BLUR.
not trying to say her teaching skill is crumble or so.perhaps she sometimes talk jumbo here and there.not always. a few time.that's how i feel.
SS essay.after school i rush home,because teacher kept telling us IT IS CRUCIAL.
need to key in te marks.and then!
LIT left with one more Question.English too. the oral one.
Just need to rush out two more work for both teacher and settle.
HOLD ON! my GEOG test TOMORROW.
gosh!

Gona lend 50 bucks from mummy she said DUN HAVE.
understand her sistuation.
therefore i got to save lors.
sians.yesterday work wad like damn tiring.
staning down there slacking and eating cup and cups of POPCORN.
alright continue blogging later on.
got to bath and go out STUDYING!

SHOPPING IS FUN!

2007-08-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

THIKING OF THE PROGRESS CARD JUST SIMPLY MADE ME MAD.
argh.alright drop that.
aim for at least two to three distinction
COMBINE HUMAN.CHINESE.MATH. =D

there's food nnd funfair didnt go for it.
having fever in the morning.
and diah. woops.
sorry.

whes.today was totally fun.alright it was somewhat last minute. and it had been decade since i went out faraway with her.my somply adore beloving girlfriend.
SAWCHIU!
out shopping.the girls shop.hahsa
went to this fashion at fareast.alright some of te clothes is far more better than te lot one this fashion.uhms. hook on a dress.it was nice.gona save it and buy,but before hand gona buy one thing for someone first.hahas.SIMPLY LOVE THAT DRESS.but cant buy yet =(
hehes.we did some tryings.hahs.that was fun.i got the idea intitally.but saw chiu later on read my mind and she thought of the same way too.perhaps we going back and buy the one we love it.hahs.halfway thr, her dear called.and they were teasing me.Jess,where's ur darling.UHms.sad =( they gona make me envious.they did it on purpose. hahs.but i didnt take it too seriously so sc dun worry ,ya? hahs =D
Went inside, and there's a few shop selling shoes.saw chiu look on one shining striking with diamonds show.specially mend for prom night, weddings and stuff.hahs.
it cost 69 ++ whoos. she said. uhms. as long as u put on few pairs of nice shoe, no matter how awkard you wear nobody will bother.why?
BECAUSE EVERYONE ENDING UP LOOKING DOWN , ON UR SHOE! =D
we were then at KFC. she can read my mind and knw i wana head to CINI hahas.
she then later on say out and then say but then wana go to heeren first.
heys.saw chiu tell u wad,though u made a pt down there. that's lame -_-

Head to heeren.hahas.went into action city.uhs. i had chose one presesnt for my friend
gona bought it and gave her a belated ones.hahas.weekdays.studying not free.unless i got the spare time manns. yeah~ happy for her.
SAWCHIU BOUGHT THE SUSPENDER STRIP.which made ME FEEL LIKE KILLING HER.
keep tempting me.she tempt me even more.look at the later part.
dots.alright Sawachiu LAOgong ur strip is nice.and wads more is my colour.of cos superbly nice.hahs.
alright.move on to CINILEISURE.
uhs,i saw many T shirts with words on it,and some other store which sell couple shirt
it was damn nice.uhs.again not enough bucks.nvm save save SAVE!
ohs yeah! went in to BLOSSOMz. hahas.try again, putting on some cute and rature shoes fun and nice trying =D
later on ,another shop. where it sells off shoulder.haha.
and then guess wad. SHE POINTED IT TO ME.and tell me 'I HAD BOUGHT IT'
SICKENING.sawchiu! stop temtping me.wads more i had hook on for a long time.
hahsa.but nvm.sicne u bought it first shall not argue.i take some other coulours then
wehehes.sometimes our taste is just too same that.hais.to badd.LAOGONG marrs.
ohs.she push me into a converseshop.hahs.weis. u no money still treat me like that. im ur LAOPO lehs.how can you! bleahs.
uhms.on our way up our topic was errect.and i ask her wad was that.hahs.then later on she told me.uhms,it deenitely sickening.i know that. we just cant stop LAUGHING.
hahas.hehes.LOLS.LOLs.

TIME UP! got to go outram and meet my parents.hahs
having dinner at there ina a restraunt.it had been since not sure of how long since we had a meal as a family tgt.haha.YUMMUy delicious. [ uhms.sorry my dar.next time,ehs?] hahs
sawchiu.i simply love you.hahas.
she acc me to outram.wohohos.nice being ur friends.
hehes.
but u are "bad" tempt me loads bleahs!

alright.later on they bring me to someone's house.
my mother's friend.they had a son.
i knew him since young.hardly meet.and we only met once or twice a year
had a little cursh on him when I WAS YOUNG.till now i still kana teast by my parents.
reach lers.sickenings.
okies.i dun deny the fact that he's still dashing as before. good moral value.talented in both academic and drawings. an active and loving guy. uhms.he had the filall piety. socaible.
hmm.okies.almost mr perfect.though he might had some negative pt in terms off charac or att, which i dont know at all,hahas.okies. whole day long even after leaving his house they kept on asking who look more charming him or that guy. i was diaos.wait before that,i just got off from the car and there walk a few step.and there my SHOE STRIP CAME OFF.MY HP DROP.
sickening.i told my parent it was damn unlucky.after going home.while my dad drove
my mummy was even worst. telling me wad. if ten years down the road i can be with him get married is my honoured. again i was like kinda of diaos.okies.dad was LOL over there.
MUM!DAD! both of u think too much more far away than me manns.stop it.thanks.
i will apprecaite if te both of u stop being so~

i was like SOS! my dar.help me.
and you are asking the obious manns
of course is you,e most important
unless u betray or lied to me
uh huhs.but i doubt you will because i had faith in you.
hahsa =))
sickening!
tml.working.hahas.late night now and i still cant get to sleep
blogging right now. i miss his lulaby
rock a by baby on te tree top~
but guess he's now sleeping like a~
muhahas.dun say here.wait kana foreit.
thinking of meeting him for dinner certainly made my day brighten up and high happy
hahas.counting down the timing of meeting him.hehes.
and today out with SAWCHIU was damn HIGH FUN. hahs
love ya saw chiu.hehes.

[[Darling,in the acc that ur sick then bought food for you uhs.blehs.think u so great uhs
lols.weis. i then dun wan to be ur chewies! woos. NO MORE FOREIT.no gona bother ur foreit.who cares anyway.whees. u care i dun.weis. u sick take medi ON TIME. EAT then TAKE MEDI.aiyos.dun make me worry or ximtia ehs.hahas.take care.DRINK LOADS OF WATER.u hardly drink water mans.hahs. i miss you. ]]

nothing on earth can even compare you.
my words cant even express out how i feel
for you XD

simplyLOVEDINNER

2007-08-23T09:59:00.000-07:00

woows.
finAlly got into blogger.com
the laptop kept dc my network.it's so SICKENING.
having dinner with him.hehes.
simplyLOVEDINNER.
later on,his dad drive me back home.
called him after i reached home.he is having his SUPER.
myBELOVEDSUPER.i want!
his mummy says is too late.
phews.LOLs.
gosh.FeVer coming up again.
guessed that it was due to yst heavy pour.
breath in too much carbon dioxide XD
finding time to study.these week spent quite loads of time with my dear SAWCHIU and HIM.
hahas.simplyloveit.
These few days were crazy.we kept singing QI SHI HAI AI NI on our way to anywhere.okies.but we got our self limit.Yesterday nad the day before yesterday were playing badminton with sawchiu! yesterday was at the cck stadium.gosh.christ was there.alright glad that we are still friendly.hahas.eeks!saw her ex.alright mean no insult for the eeks.but it was again really.errs.he looks arrogant,alright he is concited.the sight of him make me feel like puking.again mean no insult,who got him to hurt my beloved sawchiu in the past.
alright.drop that.

Before Continuing there's somehting extra down here.
no to insult anyone,but is the fact.
Just simply dont understand why is someone that so of conceited
when she look like she's a harkwroing and up well bringing girls.
it had been for years.and yet she can be still so childish.
wells,act like she call the day.do the way like she's the boss.
wana be the lead,yet it rankles her friends heart.YEARS!
bearing little grudeges for years.everything is like been years
and matter is all over.yet still bothering over it and because of grudges,
keep against on her enemy.when that someone dint even treat her as ones.
yeahs.she even 'want' want her friend by putting them in a difficulty spoy,playing patty games.pls.that's pri sch stuff.i knew that she's at young heart but isnt that too young?
She's not oblivious.but she;s still so oblivious that she thought people dun mind her doing anything she want.wells.she's jsut like so carefree and doing like nobody businiess.when she had somewhat rankled some people heart,and making sime around her simply detest her doings.

Wondering why is it at such a late night,
with fever,im still here,ehs?
because im just too excited that i couldnt get to sleep.
hmm.erms.alright partly was due to sleepless night.
thinking of the event thats coming next tml and sat.
the days spending with him was superbly great.alright though in btw there's little little arguement.but it was sunshine after the rain
SICKOS.nobody wana be ur CHEWies. whoever be ur CHEWies got no gurantee.hahas.
Tomorrow.must got CO.to guide junior.as i had promise them.cant possibly break it.hahas.long time never my DEARLINGVIVIE wondering how's she.hopefully i would get to meet her on satruday bahs.if not i will be out with SAWCHIU.maybe?Not confirm
ohS.

It's so tempting that loads of people surrounded me kept telling me how nice the the FIRST LOVE movie.by jay chou.even sawchiu.telling me its best to watch the couple the effect and atmosphere would be even different.IWANAWATCH too.
yeahs.almost forgot.my english test i got 16 out if 20.which i knew i could do even better but then im sastified with this result.chemistry.miracle.i pass all of it after the terms start again.LOVE MS CHOW "S TEACHING.she's hilarious and humourous.simply a great teacher to me.hahas.but then physics.i nearly pass.Ms marina came to me and ask me how was it and what was the cause.i told her i FAILED MY SCIENCE TEST ALL THE WAY.and told her mid yr the system got somewhat corrupt,failing all the way yet got a B3 for sciences.OHS.is not that im complaing or not happy anything just that,if u were the one failing one particular sub all the way and out of a blue u got a B3.isnt that really a miracle and unrealistic?hahasmy math is dropping again.doubt i can get a B4 again.hahas.A math was no beta.same.but surprsingly i got to understand what is Mr Chua teaching.English.diaos.these few days keep rushing my asgm.yeah! ine more asgm to go.and it's all complete lerrs.

yawn.it's geeting late.i got to my dreamland.
wait a minute.it's sweet dream.no night mare thanks =)
sweet dreams~ =D

[[DalrinG.DRink more water and eat ur pando if u not feeling well,ehs?dun make me worry.hahs.i sick i can self heal.u diff.bleahs.dont keep on highing uhs.hahs.watch first love tell me the story.Nahs.looking forward to watch with u at ur place.ur place seems like a cinema.hahas.miss and love dinner with you.why not let's try havig super next time?hehes.night.sweet dreams~ ashiteru,myboii.]]

2007-08-22T23:49:00.000-07:00

JUST DONE CHANGING SKIN.
more to update and more changes coming up =)
be patience with that.

hAving sleepless night.
esp last night =(
keep falling asleep in science classes.
it's so sickening.but glad that i manage to get some tips before i fall asleep.
Yesterday night having dinner with my darling.
simply loveDINNER.
hahas.perhaps tonight too?
Friday gona be an exhusating day i guess.
because after attending to CCA i still got to go to SYfi' house to prepare for the following food and funfair day.
uhms.SAWCHIU! watch the first love with her dear lers.sickening.
uhs.i also want to watch manns.
ops.got to buck my school work.
gosh!next week taking progress report card lerrs.
what will my result be?
Terrinble.Horrible.or pass with flying colours?
we shall see. =)

Hey guys,ask you.
lesbian. bysectual or normal route will be better?
some says les. because thought there aint any future.but it's lasting.
some says by.cuz it's flexible.when either one dont want you or hurt you too deep u may try another sex
some says.crazy!nomral for sure.
dots.
okiies.got to stop blogging here.continue at night.
gona be out =)

[[Darling,ur head not feeling well.do take care loads =)]]

more confuse than ever!

2007-08-17T08:28:00.000-07:00

reaprroaching.remorseful than ever.

her personality and character is really that lousy:
she is insensitive to other ppl's need.
she is too sensitive.futhur Question other's ppl reason.make accusation
her sensitiveness had lead her to many paths which harms her.
though she had change some of her sensitiveness for certain matter.
is not all yet.her furthur question,"accusation" made ppl hurt and think she dun trust him or them.
even she kept saying she trust.alright she really do.but again the repeated point which had been mention above let ppl think she dun trust them.
she's not gona to continue.she's gona to stop.not all. but slowly. not in one day time.but some times.
she believe she can.if she say she will,she will.she chg not for the sake of him,but her girlfriends,herself,family and her future.she knows if this goes on. she will lead a miserable than ever.she really hope that she can have her friends and his support and trust her that she can do it. if there's still a thought of chgning,there's never too late.she know she gota chg.and she oso know no point of keep saying "chg" when there's no action.
ACTION SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.

Her mummy is heartbroken. broken into pieces.she saw her mum tears start flowing.
Her daddy got hurt.some brusises.
Her sister running over like mad.
her sister's friend together with them.
The girls cried together. Just to consuel this girl.
Daddy over there keep talking.
but she herself. stood at the staircase.listening to their coversation and cried.
she had alr reapporach herself for treating her loves in this way.
now,she reapporach herself for not being able to be the eldest.
she have got no right.yet why do hevaen still pick her?
she was thinking,she was partly blame for her sister.she knows that she had never been a good sister.
she know that she's not fit to be her sister,neither is she fit to be the eldest daughter in the family.
she did not manage to join in the conversation and talk round to her sister.yet she stood there.crying.reapporaching herself for her love and family.
Initally she thought that she was just bad enough.but later on she wish herself decieve herself no more.
SHE'S NOT JUST BAD ENOUGH.BUT SHABBY.

Now everything seems like going back to the past.she manage to revive from death once.doesnt mean she can now too.things SEEMS to be getting out of hand.but let the sympthom be.
hevaen once took her life away,and give it back to her.give her life path to chose.
heaven is kind enough to her.this time round? she feels like heaven is playing a trick on her.give back her life,let her chose her own life path.but now seems that heaven wana take it back.will she revive again.she dont know.she's now for the sake of their date,friends and family.Struggling. Challening with the heaven,she's gona hold her breath.she wont give up till the last moment.last min. especailly november. her date with sha gua
she will hold on too, for the sake of her TT examination.she not only wana prove to those ppl out there who had been depising her always,but prove to herself too that she could do it.

her thoughts.eveything seems to be this way;
he SEEMS not to believe that she cld chg.
he SEEMS not to bother her anymore.
he DOESNT SEEMS to be hurt.but is really hurt.
she knows that she cant outwit that girl who love him too and might be pursuting for him.Not that she trust or hv no confidence in him or this relationship.is that she had.everything which seems and doesnt seems to be.
nothing she could do.just wish that he could support her in disregard and really trust her that she's actioning it that she cld chg.most importantly,after much consideration,ponderings and self questioning.she really do turst him.
and love him loads.
they SEEMS to dont understand her
they SEEMS to be tired of her.
they SEEMS to feel damn sick of her.
but she's glad.despite all these,her friends dint levae her in the lurch.the endure and tolerate her.
and tried to accept for who she is.
their SEEMS to detest her alots.
their SEEMS to really depise her
their SEEMS to really think she cant be the eldest.
even she herself thought so.
but isit really this way?not accusation.not suspection.not distursting.just wondering.

she dun wish to lose her sister.though she admit her sister is sickening.but after all they do have happy times which value lots more than she herself think.
she dun wish to see her mummy in pain,she's hurt too.
she dun wish to see his daddy got cut,ger heart got a scare too.
she dun wish to lose him.she loves him.hope he still too.
she dun wish to let him hurt.she's heartbroken too.
she dun wish to see him in this state,when there's smth gg on in him,she cant help.she feel helpless.
she dun wish to make them feel sickening.she wants them to be happy.
she dun wish to make them feel hurt cuz they thought she disturst them.she will feel guilty and upset too.
she dun wish to make them feel agaited because of her.she loves them loads too.and she really truly apprecaite them.
she really gona stop it.love but not hurt him
she know wads right and wads wrong
yet here sensitivenss made her follow her heart and do wrong things.
she gotta stop it.
if she's with him again,she really wish to love him even more.
not make him hurt numb and tired.

He is absouletly right.THEY WILL CHANGE.why?
because. THEY CHANGE BECAUSE I CHANGE.

she just really want and wish that she can live on to see the future.
be with him
meet her friend in the poly.
achieve her dreams
she dun wish to end it at this sweet 16.
it's crummy.
NO WAY.SHE"S GONA LIVE ON.
FOR THE SAKE OF HERSELF.HIM.FAMILY&FFRIENDS

[[darling.dun worry my dear if you are.like i told u and promise u before i will live on.days are getting colder.do take care.dun skip meals.how's ur prelieum?hope eveything's fine for you.if u dint do it well or u are nt sastified with it.work harder next time.there's still some time left for improvements.if u are sastified with it.then ur hard work paid off.then continue with it.hahas.jia yous wors.pls my dear,dun bu li wo,ehs?will be waiting for ur calls and smses.rmemeber.when getting out of hands must take ahem.u know what is ahem ders.told u sms before lerrs.hahs take care.wana eat wedges? i will still cook.i want my JYA CHOU's movie disc.i wana watch.dun forget each other's promise.wedges and show =) SHA GUA! blehhs. love ya =X]]

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end.
With you by my side
I will fight and defend.

SICKENING STUPID DUMMIBIE DUMBO AH JESS!

2007-08-15T02:28:00.000-07:00

sickening.dumbo. =(
recently,she feel that she had turn into a child like.
like? speak in a funny way. do some funny actions. timid. dun give in that often.
like a kid keeping the toy to himself. a little bit cannot alr. dun ask her why.
she dun know why too.perhaps is the surrounding. the happenings. all times she wana share with him,but he's too busy or got to sleep early.so no one she can or wish to share with. not blaming him. understanding bahhs.
guess things will get well soon for her,isnt it?
sad.dumbmies.
she dun deny the fact that she was upset that he "scolded" her on the phone in front of his classmates.
if his classmates got to know the one on the phone is her,she will sure whoas! good game~
but she knew that she had got no right to speak anything because she's at fault first.
perhaps her tone in the sms is too heavy,and made him sound like she dun believe him.
when she called,she could hear from the tone that he is damn angry and somehow hurt,she guess?
she detest herself for hurting him again and again,she hate herself for each time the way she pharse her sentence made him feel like she dun trust him at all.
what else can she do? SORRY again?
sorry is only a word to express u are sorry,but doesnt means it cure everything or let that person feel lesser hurt.uhs.AH JESS uhs! next time pharse ur sentence properly,or think how before you speak or send any smses ahhs!not only detest,hate but annoy too.dun be so impulsive.sometimes she's thinking if she die could off better.friends wouldnt have to tolerate with her nosense and retatrted move.he wldnt get hurt. family wldn't had shout at her till their throat broke out! no one would have to tolerate ro even endure with this idotic,retarted,dummies, JESS! now she's fear that, her phone will ring at night or even when and there he goes, " i think we beta stop talking or meeting for a period bahhs." or if aft today he dint contact her ,then haleiluya lerr lorrs.
only then she will even xim tia.but cant do anything.just wait for that period to over.
wait till the time,he wana contact her he will.she dun wish to pester him and make him feel even more agiated.
why is she behaving like that.now,get it clear she's not trying to push blame to herself again
the FACT now is, INITIALLY, SHE's the one who provoke him by and the one who started to sent those smses first.SICKENING AH JESS.
MISS JESS.AH JESS.can u pls dun be so dummies or not?!

[[daring.i got nth to say.im speechless. i only know how to say sorry. and dun noe wad else lers.maybe im just really too reatarted,each time i phrase my sentence and let u really think that im dun turst you.but i really do. contact me if u want to bahs.i didnt really mean to say i dun believe you. haiis. think u are feeling down now a days too,try to cheer up.anything i will lend u my listening ear.i will talk less. and you re lack of sleeping too. sleep early alright? eat too much super at night will gain fat derr.ops XD. take care.]]

dumies you.
stupid you.
retatred you.
idoitic you.
conceited you.
silly you.
impulsive you.
uhs.beta die off.so that no one get hurt bcos of u.

bcos of her whim.things started to happen again.feeling remorseful.seems that she had been trounched off.her mind was in a whirl.
she knows that PERHAPS she couldnt had outwit them!

2007-08-14T03:25:00.000-07:00

Sickening.really sick.

fever for several. days.nobody knows.yesterday almost dying in school.

dissapointed in her chemistry test.expect a 15 .but end up 11.

guess there's careless mistake in her calculation.

Guess she statred to bother her sciences. cuz in the past no matter how bad she failed,she wont bother.

if there's a pass, she's already contnet.nvm,that's a good sign either,ehs?

hahas.next time can do even better derrs. JIA YOU! =)

Yesterday he's hving english oral.

wondering,how's everything.

sorry,she too.forget to speak in english for him.

heard that the topic is about toys and fortunate.

hope everything goes well for him.

aiyas.he's so smart.sure can do it well derrs.

and her WHOLE SATURDAY OUT with HER DARLING.

was a FUN and MEMORABLE one.

SHE's LOVING IT.

2007-08-11T05:16:00.000-07:00

currently at darling's father's shop. =)
hehes.using his dad laptop! =)

things dat a perfect guy will do :

1. Known how to make you smile when you are down.
Defenitely yes!
2. Try to secretly smell your hair,but you always notice.
Sometimes =)
3. Stick up for you, but still respect your independence.
Most of the time. =)
4. Give you the remote control during the game.
NO!
5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
Yes =)
6. Play with your hair.
OF COURSE!
7. His hand would always find your hand.
At ALL tiMES =)
8. Be cute when he really wants something.
MY BOY.OF COURSE!
9. Offer you plenty of messages.
SURE!best,ehs?
10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
YEAH~ but we enjoy it =)
11. Never run out of love.
NEVER EVER =D
12. Be funny, but know when to be serious.
ALWAYS.
13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious.
YEAH~
14. Be patient when you take forever to get ready.
Defenitely YES.but can be damn noisy and naggning at times =)
15. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
NO.he "groan"
16. Smiles a lot.
NOt only.But LOL too.
17. Plans a romantic date full of things he wouldn't normally do because he knows it tis be4.
HE DID.to me,it is. =)
18. Appreciate you.
He SURE DOES =)
19. Help others out.
yeah! he's helpful.but never praise that in front of him.he will get ahem =)
20 Drive five hours just to see you for one.
he've got no car. xD
21. Always gives you a kiss when you leave, even when his friends are watching.
sometimes.hehes.alright.
22. Sing, even if he can't.
yeah.esp song by VIVIAN HSU! =P
23. Have a creative sense of humor.
My boy,he does!
24. Stare at you.
MOST OF THE TIMES."sickening" =P
25. Call for no reason.
sometimes wors.hahas.NO NEED REASON. =)

2007-08-09T20:14:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO S'PORE

happy NATIONAL DAY.

Thinking back to the NDP 2005

The goats,dragonflies, ferns, coconut trees, and the wave and even more

the tough training we had.

the dance step that we had to keep on praticsing under the sorcing hot sun.

THeiR Food, and driNks.The CostuME.With different forms of coulours and pattern

the PreViews.The FiREWORKS.The celebration.

the day we spent together.the pic we had taken together.

it was all so memoroable.

never to be forgotten.

NDP 2005 PiiCS.there's more.But is not in this com =)

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yesterday,went to esplanade.

with yuko and vivie!

hahas.everywhere was block and we had a hard time passing thr anywhere

end up,we lost lost our way.

it was so sickening,end up they called for quan and jack the guys for help

met them,and watch fireworks together.

thanks.her wishes during the preview fireworks had come true.

and there yst she made one more wish. shhh...

hahas.later on went to MAINA SQ for dinner.

walk there =)

the guys seating behind their seats failed to take her number =)

even if she were to give she wld give 81609862. =)

SMART! bleahhs.anyway they just failed.

so she wont have to give too

hahs.reach hm at abt gona to be one?

hahas.wear out.chg cloth.wash up.and fall asleep.

sweet sweet dream~

but in the middle there's nightmare abt him.

uhs.sickening.GET RID OF IT.

perhaps she think too much in the day =P

LAter on going out with my dear SAW CHIU!

hahas.miss her loads.loads to share with her.hahahs.

finally able to meet her lerrs!yeah!Saw chiu JIA YOU in ur DNT worrs.

hahas.

[[Darling,hahs.dun drk so muc h cold water.dun wish to tell u at all times.wait u say i naggy,then u agiated.later on good game.hahas.i will try to take care of myself derr larrs.Dun worry. u wont make me worry too,ehs?hahs.i trust you =)]]

THE END

=======================================================

Yesterday,i took my risk and help him speak up.it's like .

pHEW!

Last few days.

wadeav drinks he bought i kept on drinkin as much as i can.

only left abit,

cuz i dun want him to drink too much cold drinks.

sick and worry for him.

feeling down.

depress.

listening to some pleassant songs to cheer myself up.

seems like no one's there for me.

that dumbmmies things kept going on

when can it be solved?

the day when it's solve,the day i will stop being blurries like now a days.

i just simply feel sux now daes.

im so unbearable by others.

because the my bluriness,the way i talk.

my stupidness.EVERYTHING SINGLE THING.

my leg is wobbly yst night.i kept mum.

my legs is trembling,i kept mum.

cuz i know no one. no one will.

SOMETIMEs i really just feel like locking myself up,dun wish to contact anyone.

cuz of that happening.im just feeling so depress and down

my heart kept on rumbling.my mind kept on whirling with all thise idoitc stuffs.

my eyes were like every min the thought of it,it will started to filled with water.

but what can i do?

PLS dun let that Past Ms jEss,who knows how to speak,who knows how to stand up when she fall,

who knows how to solve things well,who know how to handle things well as before.

not be a shadow again

bring it out pls

i beg!

2007-08-03T04:01:00.000-07:00

FIRST TIME!
understand A marh and able to do some of the linear Quesion!

clap.clap.yeah!hahas.heys.she's smart too~ ;)

SICK STILL.IT"S SO SICKENING.

her head hurts.her kidney reacts again,her legs and hands releaspe.asthma reacts[[small case]]

uhs.so sickening.feel like when she was young,HIGH HIGH fever,SERIOUS coughing,asthma reacting.

she's gald that she's able to revive from her death.thanks GOD!and her mummy&daddy.LOLS.

things happening recently.the depressing tone,hurting words,cryings,every single words.keep playing in her mind.it's even playing in her dreasms.So is she hurt,is she feeling depress,so does she cried too.each time it's playing in her mind.she's just totally speechless,and numb.she dont know what to say,because she's knew that she's at fault.she knew that she's the one who make both party so sad.she dont know how to face hIm.is like all her fault again.scold her.hate her.slap her.so that she will feel better.but DONT TK her.

that was all the happenings few days ago.

Today, she made a wrong move.she admit she was oblivious,she was at fault.serves her right that her friend was fustrated at her.she's really speechless.she dont want thing to become this way.guess that recently she another wrong move too which made her not in a clear minded state.she was thkning for days and nights,and trying to calm herself down,and finding solutions for her own.that made her somehow oblivious too.she herself also dont know what's wrong with her.guessed that recently she will be EXTRA more careful,and be more awareness,before she speaks anthing or do anything,to prevent from making her friends fustrated,hving conflict,or stir up any trouble.Regardless what her friend talk about,she will just purely shut up.listen more than she talk.speak only when there's a need to.

and wait for her time to pass by,let herself settle her own stuff,and then she will hv a clearer mind,by then life will be much more easier than now.

_____________________________________________________________________

really.no one understand her.

everyone thought that each time when somethintg happen

she's just trying to speak up for herself,and thiking that she's not

at fault.NO.that's not what she thinks.she cant even stand her self now

she dont understand why!she used to be able to speak and express well.

nothing goes wrong,speaks nothing wrong.

NOT OBLIVIOUS.NOT THAT BLUS AS NOW.

where's that miss jess?Died off,or had been buried.or had even hide it

behind her as a shadow.if that's the case,she dont want it to be the shadow

she want it to be back herself.but nt like a shadow.

to be continued...

2007-08-01T06:13:00.000-07:00

fevering.headache.SICKENING.
MS JESS GOT MC
AH JESS IS SICK.WHAT DULL HELL.

when she said orhs.
she didnt just means orhs
it was just more than orhs.
shes' not expressive enough.
pardon her for that.
in fact when she saw it,she was happy at that time
she wana sae back back the same thing to you.
sorriew to make you worried.
her fault, she made u upset and cried again
she made u heartbroken once more.
she dont mean it,
neither she want it
she know "sorry" cant cure anything,
tell her what she cld do to mend it back.
each time she hear your pieces of broken glasses and tears.
deep in her heart,she feel sad too.
it was just more than sadness
SLU.Forgive her,wont you?
she wont let you have the feeling of losing her again.
something impt to you.she wont let you lost it.
neither she would want to lost that "something" impt to her too.

if loving you brings me more misery,then i wouldnt had called that SinNomEmoRo <3

2007-07-31T02:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterdae supposingly ahd hv dinner with him
but then it seems that he dont want it anymore
my so call last dinner with him was gone like that
im the one who cause it.
never mind,i blame no one.
anyway, guess he cant find anybody that's why he look me up.
it's alright anyway.forget about that.
am i that easily get con
why do ppl lie to me when there aint a need for it.
i accept the lie,i learn to forgive and forget
i love them so i take it.
anyways,i simply loves his parents.
hahas.his parent were humours and cute!
alright i dun really know them,but so far that's what i see.
hahas.initally thought that his parent might be very fierce bomabarded with Q in the first place
but end out it turn out to be the opposite way.

Today,Heard that a rumours had been spreading
saying that she had been his disturbant,saying that she disturb him.
after she heard it,she was like OMG.
she describe to her friend the feature of that particular per who was speaking ill of her.
yea.she's right.she know whos the one.heard that when that per is saying all these words,he's there too.listening.
Well.she's speechless then.
IF the rumours is the fact,then good for it,no disturbant now.
lols.she also not sure.
well.let this rumours be and spread all over if it's meant to be.

She saw how that boy treat that girl.
they were so lovely.
though the girl att was lol,but they still manage to be tgt.
saw some friendster post, loads of i love you my dear...etc.
saw a newly couple in school today,so sweet
hahas.ZU TIAN XIA YOU QING REN ZHONG CHENG JUAN SHU.

She went to ask teacher yst,how to lost memories.
and she got idea of how a person lost a memory.
dun worry,even if she's at the wit end she wont head for the death path.
Before she slept,she stare at the top,blinking her eyes,tears rolling down her cheecks.
non stop, the tears had covered up her views.she could not see anything more.
Early in the morning she woke up,she hug the pillow.crying again.
her heart had been break into pieces,she could hear the broken pieces.
she hold the broken pieces of glasses,she feels nothing,only a bit of pain,just like ant biting,
Too many terrible thgs had happen.
she had burn down.
she dun wish to break someone's promise,but just this once will that do?
Walking on her way to the school,memories playing in her mind.
she just cant help thinkning.
the scence just cant stop playing.
she took a deep breath and continue to walk on.
On her way to the mall,
things started to play in her mind again.
she remembered, the day when he wana hold her hands,
she was shy,she remebered she did blush,but thanks to the sunshine that had make an excuses for her. and she keep on rejecting.
in the mall,when they were holding hands,they saw their friends she hurriedly kept her hand away.
she knew she must hv him deeply by then.
she remembered the staircases.
she told him if by hugging her can let her distress go ahead.
and he did.
she was wondering why all thewse started to roam in her mind again and again.

well,dun worry is not all totally all these and him which made her burn down,is there's more to it.
she's going to the wit end.

bing xiang jie bing ka fei gun tang
zhu bu hao zui jian dan de zao can
xi bu xi huan, xi bu xi guan,
wo zhong shi shuo bu chu ge da an
yi ge ren lai you yi ge ren wang
zen me ran ta liu wang ban

wo be xiang dang ben
wo zai qiang shang xie man le ke wang
wo ke yi da ku yi chng
hai shi kong kong dang dang
wo jue bu cheng qiang
shu yu wo ren qi zhi ran
dan wo ye yao an quan gan
zai mo ke shi dan cheng du
de zhu zhang
huan ran liao jie yan guang ye shi wen nuan
mei ge zao shang dou xiang lai chuang
mei you meng shi zui rang ren ciui shang
wo de yan jing ding zhe tian hua ban
ye pao bu chu ren he dui xiang.

ying wei,
wo bu xiang zhi dao wo hai hui zai dui shui sheng chu wo de shuang shuo,
ying wei ni liu gei wo yi ge wei wan zhen de meng
qi shi wo fei chang ai ni bu xiang shi qu ni.
ye xi wang ni neng gou ming bai yi ke jian qiang de xin
yi ran hai zai deng dai ni hui lai.
xiang yao zai yong you yi ci.
xiang yao zai ci rang wo meng de ai qing chang jiu.

SHE MISS HER FRIENDS, THE BEAR BEAR, AND HIM!

[[Darling,must eat uhs.dun skip meals horrs!this few days keep on raining,dun catch a cold,ehs?
hahas.cuz i not sure if i cld cook porridge for you still or not.haahas.and my beloved bear!when or if u did miss me,the bear represent me bahhs.take good care of him horrs.if i am leaving it there for you for good,beta treatit nicely uhhs.dun let me dream of the bear bear say u bully horrs.if not wo gen ni mei wan mei liao.LOLS.hahas.i will miss you derrs. ahiteru!]]

sob.sob.
i am so hungry.
hahas.

saddening i want my bear.do take good care of him.got to live on and take good care of him.

2007-07-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Could someone tell her why is there such thing as life and death apart?
if such thing wana exsist in the first place,why muust human being created.
to let one per die or leave,and let those who are living feel sad and pathetic,
why do heaven have to prank on people by this way?
dun tell her is part of life,is a test,why must there be so many things be part of life in the first place then?
thought the world including the god had always wanted us human being to live in peace and harmony?
then why created so many test to make human's life diffcult?
WHY TELL HER WHY!
she admit!she's fear of life and death apart.
she admit!she wana hide from the reliaty
she admit!she just simply hate this.
why do so many people she loves gona leave her,eragdless whenever she need them or not,
why do they and him got to leave?
is there a need?
then she rather be the one who die first and leave those peopl living behind.
she's selfish!she admit!at least she died first she wont be the the one playing the role who had been leave behind to be sad and cried.
she rather peopl feel and cried for her because she's gone.
no longer in this world!

Tell her,tell her why!do people,friends comes and goes ard,
why cant they just enter ur life and settle down?
why must there be so many creation?
WHY!tell her why!
if ppl are meant to be comes and goes ard each other's life in the first place,
then why do friends,family and evebn human exssist?
SInce in the first place we are like toy got to comes and move ard each other ppl's life

The most scary thing in love life
she had figured out,firstly,the greatest dist is not u love that per,and that per dun love you,
is both of u love each other,yet you all cant be together.
next,is feeling,whevever either one party lost feeling everything is gone.NO TALK!
there's more to it but she had forgotten.

Teach her,how to lost memories
teach her what she shd do to forgot everything?
EVERY SINGLE THING.
should she run over and bang into a car,
would that do?
or should she just bang her head into a wall,untill there's blood till she fainted?
or shd she just jump off from third building, pushing her head downwards?
teach her then!
HOW?!
________________________________________________________
The rain just never seems to bring
The joy I feel the same.
Everlasting pain of my loss remains.
My heart can’t seem to learn to part
The hold you left you mark.
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark.
Though I told myself won’t hold my breatha part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you I won’t
Live my life without you.

If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.
The way you left me on the train.I don’t know what to say.
I remember everything of that day
I can’t believe we’d never dance
I just need one more chance
To share the sunset our one last romance
Though I told myself won’t hold my breatha part of me was dying.
There is nothing left for me to do now.
But give in.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.I would sing to you and tell you
I won’tLive my life without you.
If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would sing to you and tell you
I won’tLive my life without you.If you gave me one chance to tell you how I was feeling.
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes.
And you know I’d never let you go

i feel so helpless.
i am no longer the past jessie who knows who are capable to help people
not even my own love
is there a need for you to lock up urself,
switch off ur hp,
and lost contact with others or maybe even just me.
is there a need for you to feel so empty
when im always here to love you,
even if my love wont be able to to fill up ur empty heart,
there's still t rue friend ard isnt it?
yst u lock urself up in the toiliet,i stood outside,
a ray of light shine in,but what i can see is no more longer light,is still darkness,
i wana switch on the light,but im afraid is to bright.
why not,is the time for you to show urself?
for this once!
THIS ONCE!relieved urself,and be urself.
u wana cry,go ahead,u wana be crazy go ahead!
u wana be upset go ahead.No one will blame you.
stop wearing ur mask for this once.JUST THIS ONCE.
try putting it down!NO HARM.
BU YAO ZAI YIN SHI,ZAI WEI ZHUANG LE!
Dun act like nth's gona happen anymore.
dun act happy ler,thats not you,
ur happy doesnt comes from the bottom of ur heart,ehs?
i dun everything which happen yst to be the last dae.
no such thg call last day,
im helping you to do smth right now,
thats why i got you to trust me, nothing will happen
u gona be alright.i hope that at the time when the date reach,
if u still hv feeling for me
u wont act away,u wont gimme this thg as an excuses.it's unfair for me
u had alr treated me unfairly almost everything,u may.
but not that time when the date had reach.
u gona bu cure,nth's gona happen.
i still hv loads of words hvnt say to you,
u once promise me before u gona take neoprint for me,
we said before after O lvl we gona the our most memorable place to stay overnight.
is it u wana see everyone cried for you,upset for you,then u willing to show urself?
u wana see everyone die for you then u will show urself?
if so,why not let me be the first one?
im helping you right now,dun let my effort went into the drain
you got to stand up for urself! you got to zheng qi yi dian cai xing!
u got to be strong!pls i beg you...
I WANA YOU TO KNOW,
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO
I WONT HATE YOU.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO,
I WONT GIVE UP!
so pls do you,if u are,dun give up urself.
FOR NOW,
YOU CANT LEAVE BEFORE ME.
HATE ME FOR ALL U WANTED,
SCOLD ME FOR HELPING YOU.
BEAT ME UP FOR TREATING U IN THIS WAY
THREATEN ME AND SAY YOU NOT GONA TO TALK TO ME.
ONCE AGAIN,
NO MATTER WHAT I WONT GIVE UP

I prayed to god,
dun let the per whom i love the most,and dun let that someone who love me too,
to leave.dun apply the death and life aprart on us.
im depressed enough.
really,i prayed to god.dont.

2007-07-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

What an ideal boyfriend is?
understanding
able to give in.
Respect for who i am
able to share weal and woe together
No alcholic
No smoking
No lies
No hiding the fact
-BE TRUE TO THEIR FEELING!

PLs dun treat ur ex or friend too differently,because if u stil treat ur ex with more concern WHEN U HAD NO FEELING FOR HER,
she might mislead u love her or have feeling for her still.Unless u treat them differently not only because she's ur ex,but provided u still hv feeling or love for her still. <3

she asked him smth very awkawrd Q,esp for a girl to ask,she feels that same way,just that she's hiding it.she knew that she had ask at the wrong time and she shouldnt have ask those these thg at ths point of time,but she still choose to ask because she donmt know when's her last time or even if there's a chance for her to asked again or not.yesterday is a past,tml might be too late.she admite that she ask the same thgs lots of thg in diff phrases.ask for confirmation which she knew will make him fustarted.

She asked"Though we had break,u hug me,u still hv feeling for me?
She asked 'do u love me still'
he said ' no'
she asked"when we break you still hug me cuz of?'
he said"mainly is for the sake of u,only a small portion is i want.'
she asked' do u still have feeling for me?"
he said' yes,but not that much as before'
she asked'love no,feeling yes?'
he said' feeling is feelin,love is love.
she asked the way u treat me now as a freind or as a ex?
he said'ex,and friend,one more time got feeling no love.'

she was alright got feeling but no love.what about her?
love?lost feeling?she knew that when he said all those she shd feel hurt,
but she dun have the feels.guess her emtion was abit shaken,and she know why,guess it will recupate back in no times.
not only him,when she ask she will feel awakard too.dun u thk so?she knew it was very direct,but somtime beating ard the bush will mislead someone.ehs?and sure she wldnt want to be mislead isnt it?but she appreciate his tuth and direct.she believed that sometime when even is not for the sake of her u suddenly hug her,is bcuz u wana hug,and when u hug is cuz u still hv feeling for that per.
if not no feleing hug for? then he can hug many girls ler lorrs.
she look at you,see the way u played ard, hear ur singing,she didnt talk,
not bcuz she was acting emo,is just that she want to pay attentively to you,capture every sight of you,as her memories.
she dun wish to forget him.
Listen up,she wont deny the fact still that i miss you and hugs! but she's glad that at least you did it not totally for accreditaion and most importantly he didnt follow his friend's foothestep. she wished that next time ur hug for her is only when u wanted and u miss or need it.
not just bcus she wnt then u gave her.

most of the time when breakup,most of the couple feeling will fade or remian the same,or even increase due to some happenings.she cld tell him that she still hv feelings for him still,she wana tell u that though no love but he still holds on to some feeling,she's more than content.
Sorry that she kept asking the same questions over and over again.is like his answer was all jumbo up,once again the head doesnt amtch with the tail.that's why.but she just really wanted to know how he;'s feeling right now
complicated?confusion take place?
she only knw one point,no love but still holds on to some feeling.
but as she said ler,it mihgt be the last time or the only time she asked him lerrs.

After 4mths he still hv feeling for her or not,.she will still wait,he will still revieve something from her.hahas.though he told her some of her feeling but that's just the present,no ones know the future,let alon 4mths later.So regardless what the answer will be not only she will wait,she hv no regrets.meanwhile regardless where is she, she will still have feeling or love for you.wherever she is she will give you her support

Her tears had mix with the raindrops,
the day you are able to identify her tears might be the day she had gone.
or might be the day she appeared again.

ps;more at her private blog.only shown this once. 'www.missingy0ualways.blogspot.com.this and sinn0memoro blog is only limited to some acc,so for those limited users,after reading this pls keep it private =)
she trust u guys uhs. =)

[[dalring,so take care loads,monday last day of prelium lerr.chong uhs!jia you dao di,but not overwork or overstress.wo ting ni dao di.bleehhs =P]]

2007-07-25T02:29:00.000-07:00

PHySics.FUn!
finally.she know how to ans teacher Q at last.
she can plot those things well.hehes.
first time she's doing well for my her physics.hahas
the week after next week got physic test.on mangetism.
hopefully she can pass uhhs.hahas.math test got back lerrs.
yeah!i pass lerrs.blehhs =P
she's loving it.but teacher sae whole class sae got retest.well do even better derr.
but siianz.INEQUALITY lehhs.ohs.wells.sickening.
RECESS time!most sicko.she's outside her class,viewing up.saw that someone.
she wana a clear view of him so she walked to class 4/1 outside.but
he gone missing lerrs.diaos. -_-"

nvm.cant msg him.bcuz he must be studying or so.
so she just wish upon.she hope he's doing well for it.hahas.
erms.she's not in a good mood, so she ate smth which she shdnt hv eat at all.hahas.
she will buy one more derr lars.dun worries =)
Mr narain didnt come,so they leave earlier.hahs.
when she and drea reached the bus stop,the moment she saw that someone she wanted to see
she jump up.as if she was overjoy to the moon.LOLS.
but she burst into laughter right away,cuz she saw that someone's friend.hahas.
hmm..shall not mention what's going on. muhaahahs.
now at drea house with vivie.hahas,posting,finding some skins.wana chg my blogskins to a even better and nice ones.she alr got some ideas.but due to the timing she can only create a post first.bcuz vivie gona post too.hehes.
Few mins aago,on msn.hmm.HE's online! yeah! she's so happy!
see.told u.now a days.she's like mad.the moement he appeared she will overjoyed to the moon.hard to describe the feels.blehhs.
she double click.the window pop up.she was smiling to herself.
she was wondering shd she talk to him? he might not be reply perhaps bcua he might be reading smth on so.so she press the ESC button.later on,a window pop up.UHS!HIM!
told her to take care.hahas.she wana tell you thanks and take care too.and how's todae's paper?
BLEHHS.hahas.

shiT!tml got A math,ohs sickening.
fri test.well.she dont even know what's going on in there.
how is she suppose to seat for the test?
yeah!one idea coming up.seat down there and ly on the table.
so shd she just try her best to attepmt the paper?
of cos is.. TRY HER BEST EFFORT TO ATTEMPT the paper manns.
todae again.lit! preparing skit.
wells.she's placed the role of PETRA.alright it's fine with her actaully.hahas.
she's now currently seating in front of the screen,posting, hugging the bear, and smile to herself =)

wells.for the previous post,to be continue another time.sorry for the inconviniece
Thanks for being understaning =)

[[Dear,study hard,but not overwork.got to work hard for 5 or 4 days more only then can take a break for one or two days ler.hahas.bring me out for a meal again,wont u?missing hving meal with you.muahhas.coffee can drink,but not too much uhs.cuz too much ca fei wu not good derrs.
dun burn midnight oil horrs.morn dun miss any alarm.not critizing you.is u everytime sleep like pig.OIe~oiE~.blehhs!how' todae math paper lerrs.hahas.hope u are doing fine horrs.got anything feel free to msg me.hahas.rmb i am and i will be that someone which i mention to you before in my sms der.i am and i will be that someone who will cares,concern and love you.be ur listening ear.dun worry.guess this time round i hv to listen more than talk.ur lao ma cum mummy ask me to help u distress.pls boy.u got to stay gaiety,alright? if not see u like that i will also xim tia der.JIA YOUs!im gona to be on the phone with you soon.ashiteru!]]

saddening.
troublings.
anyody there for her?
she's going from bad to worst.
everything SEEMS to be falling in place.
but ITs NOT at all.not totally.
who can feels or even bother what's in her inner world really about.
lame soon. Just So what her FUTURE will be?

2007-07-23T07:13:00.000-07:00

Ms Jess is here again to post.hahas
gona post a super duper long one?
but it might only half way thr,heys guys cuz now i s alr 10 plus PM,
and im at drea house.just done helping her to make her blogskin
Go visit her blog.it's a nice and most ever beautiful ones =)
Credits goes to: Ms Jess and Drea=)
alright.let's begin my super duper long post journey bahhs.

FRIDAY___ =D
Racial Harmony dae.
Ms jess is wearing her kebaya.borrowed from NINA
thanks NINA.she took some piics with the gals.though she had not recieved all photos.but at least there's one or twp =)
hehes. nehhs...
[rest of the journey on fri is at the previous post =)]
The UNITED 4/3
RashiDa.FAdzi.Nina.Jess.SyF.

SATURDAY___ =)
Boring~yawn.
until nina sms ms jess.what she doing
and ask them out.alright she was caught at outside far east
by an inspector.he suspect she smoke.OMG.
she didnt.neither is she a smoker.the kuku inspector.
beta go make himself a pair of spec pls! then later on we walked ard at far east,
hehes.looking for dresses.after that went to HMV.hmm.we took neo.
hahas.Upload it another time.not with her now.blehhs =P
ohs.wells.got just fries for her dinner.somehow hungry.later on lte night went to esplanade.
marina side.hahas.happen to be with drea.OHs.OMG.The firework was so beautiful,more pretty than ever than the last few yrs.well..that's just her thoughts.it was damn crowded.
and the PRI 5 kid seems to be very dua pai.then blk the whole way path,got police to guard them somemore.wad duh =_=" they were little kiddies.wearing diff kind of animal's hat on their head.it was so sickening but CUTE!hahas.recalling 5 yrs ago,she and her friends were like them too. FINALLY! the crowd was over.they may cross the path now.ohs.yeah~ THANKS AH SIR! =) nothing beta to do,thinking of where to go.hmm..meanwhile.
here comes the zi-lianing JESS.and she took piics with her friends too.
narrs.there is it worrs. blehhs =P
[[post tml]]

later on,they went to cck mac.hahas.
on the way,she chat with her darling.yeah~
hahas.but later on got abit upset narrs.aiyas.talk abt it later on.hahas.
okies.then she and drea took 190 back hm.ohs yeahs.thanks nina for the taxi fair back from esplanade to ccks mac =) .n ext time when she got enought bucks her turn to treat u alrigght,ehs?hahas.Dun turn it down uhhs.hahas.
reach home ler!yeah!Bomp.lying down on the bed liao.wait.of cos she got washed up and chg narrs.hahas.

[[Darling,you dun kuku lar.really da sha gua.ur legs so skinny.next time my leg got prob,how u gona bei me?eat more.more energy.dun u skip meals uhs.at least grab a little bite,ehs?like todae.nv eaten for the whole daes haiyoyos.how can? nvm.guess ur dad will buy for u at night der.so must eat eat eat uhs.nv expect u to eat like pig.but at least gain some fat not like now.stupid kuku you.da sha gua!lit paper for todae.nvm over ler.at least u got the determination to finish the 1st Q,beta than u do it halfway and then give up.tml math paper huh?shd be lat,if im not wrong.JIA YOU.ur curve ruler is still with me!gona pass it to you der.wells.again i got to emphasize on this dun stress urself,and dun overwork,ehs?other than tell u to jia you,there's nothing else i can do,who ask u dun want my brkfst.blehhs.hhas.nt blaming u narrs.thanks for ur yummy cookies.and i wont touch ur or even nibble at ur milky choco der,milky boy~.hahas.rest early,ehs?hahas.wo ai ni worrs. XD]]

i love me sha gua.
ben dan ai sha gua! <3
blehhs.

2007-07-19T02:18:00.000-07:00

sickening.her prepaid card dun even hv a cent.anythg just called her house.anytime also can.
muhahas.yst night.if she had know she wldnt had meet that person.
she meet that per so he can teach me math.yeah.shedid learn abit from him.
but that kind of "errie" "insecurity" come back.
she dont know why.then after that he ask her loads of wried Questions.
wahhs.her mind was only whirl with xiaoquan's owner. sha gua.how she wish he was there.by her side.
whatever he ask,her mind was only sha gua.
but nvm.and then she went back to lot one.know what?she lost my EZ link card again.it's so horrible.
she lost it the wk before last wk,and she make a new one last wk,top up bus consession yst.yst night lost again.
ths morn she got to walk to sch,and then noon walk back home.OMG! her legs are tiring and it hurt loads.
in class she nearly fall down while standing up.Uhs!so sickening.
Well.she nearly become Ms petra last few days,im glad that mr narain he played the movie,so she dun hv to act as petra.but todae lit lesson, at 3 plus he told us to form in gp, and then choose one act and scence to act or play with.and then today he asked her what's share?she told him it's jsut somethign to do with investment.then he heard wrongly,he thought she said something like share food.PLs. no.and he made a joke out of it.sorry.again it's so sickening.but nvm.just act.wont kill.no harm anyway.hahas.
math test todae.alrigth~eqaulity?alright~okiies~.
no comment.at least she did pratice yst and know how to do some of it.hahas.
yea.perhaps she can pass.though she revise it yst,but she got no confidence.
again,it's so sickeing.
seems day this whole day and yst was really that sickening tht she just cant stop typing the word sickening.
well.
Tomorrow weaing kebaya.sorry not sure of how to spell.hehes.OHS.i wont walk pass their class der.cuz it's embarassing.hopefully she look smart or nice in that suit tml.
*yawn* it's tiring.feel sleepy and sicked.
Heard from her friend that he's wearing a cap,guess it's billabong derr.
wondering how h e look like with a cap on?
must be look smrt or cute with it,ehs? =X
hahas.her mind is still whirl with sha gua,she guessed.cuz today she saw 2 or3 per at diff time and places,she thought is him.then when she's outside the school bus stop, she heard someone calling his name.perhaps is illusion.she thinks too much lerr bahhs.hahas.
need to study for chi so call the compo.teacher will give 3 topics.got to read through the newspaper for more info.it sickening.and then todae dun know take whatever MOE's survey.it seems to be repeating the Question such as,do u love you school? do u find ur school enjoyable? LOLS.
cant find jessline.cant find yuko.amalina is not allow to come out.saw chiu cant come out at this time.
OHs~really really sickening.
but she seems to smile a lot today in class?
Guess her mind is corrupted.
muhahas.she's hungry,uhs cant find anything to eat.trying to contact jessline and yuko too.
hahas.

[[Dear.this few days keep raining.must take care horrs.dun tell me u hvnt recoever from ur sick yet.hahas.Monday might got breakfast for you.if u dun wish to eat it,pls horrs,dun leave it under ur desk,wait got foul smell,then i know uhhs.cuz prelium.i dun you to take the prelium with your empty stomache.hehes.rmb rest well.sleep early leiis.dun overworked.aiyas.my darling so smart sure can do it der.rmb when i go css u told me wad?BIY marrs.hahas.i believe you can do it der.jia you.blehhs.u must be look smart or cute with that cap on.hahas]]

2007-07-18T03:20:00.001-07:00

PERHAPS GONA BE THE LAST WEEK.
will he help her pull thr this last week?
AFTER THAT WHAT'S HER LIFE GONA BE?
SHE'S JUST WANT TO LIVE HER LIFE TO THE FULLEST.

toopid.offline oso dun know how to dae bye
mei li mao!
blehhs.
hahas.

mon.she might making breakfast for him and her.
yeah~.hahas.cuz prelim.dun wish that he will go with empty stomache.
breakfast is the key.muahhas.
todae late. serve detention at!
memorable date.hahas.but todae i saw smth in the noon which i shdnt have seen at all.
im thinking shd i throw or let that per throw him or herself.
well.i shall pretent i know nth.let it be.al least there's another thg which cheer me up todae,and bring a smile on my face.which is during recess time in the library =)
i wore a yellow shirt.well.nt gona care how ppl think.i wear for the sake of myself but not others.
beside they are not totally part of life.bother so much for??
muhaahs.my blue shirt still at juan's friend there.hehes.
Rushing of time.so this post willl be continued =X
but before that.

Read this,it's all her words.might be loads of grammer error down there.
but all those are the words form her bottom of the heart.

I dont want to be your princess,
I just want to be happiness

I dont need a fairytale to make my life perfect,
because i already had you to shine up my whole world.

Tick tock,
once it's struck 12 midnight.
i know, i know you wont let off ur hand,u would hold my hand till the enternity.
so do i.

I dont need a white horse,
or any pair of galss slipper,
because u'd alr step inside my heart.

There wont be aother door opening awaiting for anyone
to be my next happiness,
because u're alr irreplaceable.

I dont need a key to open the lock of my heart,
because u are alr locked inside my heart.
if there's a day you wish to leava,
knock on it,and there' ll be rainbow bridge sending you off.

But i believe that as long as you love me still,you wont leave me.
Defenitely, i do have faith in you.

I dont need any of your promises till the end.
because i believe that ur lvoe for me is infinity.
and so do i, i love you.

bauiis.gtg.to be continued =)

[[Darling,next week prelim lerr,jia you! if u are still bothering abt ur hair cut,dun care lerr larr.u like that oso very cute hahas.real cute.not "cute".blehhs. drk more water,rmb to eat. and rest well.prelim coming,dun overstress or overwork untill u are sick,alright?i will xim tia derr.hahs.see my dalring sick of os will xim tia larr.blehhs.okies.tc loads uhs.i love you =) ]]

2007-07-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

[[Sorry again due to some technical fauly,got to post together with the previouly one.]]
17.07.07__

Yesterday im was late for school.
uhs.know why?because early in the morning my leg cant stand.walk up at about 8 plus,and got my mum's nagging,it was like so irrated.imagine wake up early in the morning got nag and nag.i cant stand it anymore so i just took a bath and went to school,before that she knw i lend my money which was supposingly use for topping up concession to a friend.she got more fed up,blaming on me,saying that i keep taking coins from my ah ma,i took a total of 10 plus bucks.it's so sickening.seems that i want all these to happen.then she sais she gona deduct my pocket money alright~ mum~.do u know that's quite sickening?alright i doubt she know too.adult thought is always thoughts.parent are 4eva parent.
Then i set off the school.the security want me to go to the general office,i was like okaies~ i dun feel like going in the first place,but to play safe,i went in and get a latecomer form.well,glad that mr narian is not there if not he's gona to call my parents up again,then end up when i got home i got nag again.again that's really indeed sickening.can u imagine that?NAg day and Night.
After that i went back to class,it was mdm lim class,t hey were revising their test.
i know there's a dae but forgotten that it was on that day,so i borrow the spelling wksht from wendy,last min job!hopefully i pass.initially i though teacher had alr pass down the test paper,so i went up to her and told her i hvnt got it.then she said she hvnt pass down any paper yet.shit!it was so~ embarassing.i apologize then i went back to my seat,and that girl over there was being scarsctic.pls manns.
what's got with her me being late or blur,beside i dun thk i had offend her in anyways.well.not gona bother about her,a waste of my time only.
"RING!"Finally 2pm.meet vivies,we went to bugis.and she bought a necklace,heart shape der!it's shooo nice.the aunty gave her discount.so good.so tempting,i can only see her buy and wear, i cant get it for myself.she was like very happy,and kept taking in and out to take a look.hahasbut nvm i got one cherry derr.to me,it's worthless price.muahahs.went home at abt 5 plus.i reach hm at abt 6 plus.
chg and went to plaza with amalina to study.okies i did abit of revision.on my math.INEUALITY.
that's great.im hving a test on that topic on wed.again,sorry to say that it was sickening.8 plus , saw Jack.then saw him coming in,okies.i admit im a bit badi cant stop myself from laughing.
well.hmm.how i wish he went to bangkit and cut his hair.alright.see,lazy bum.hahas.end up got to go and and wear a hat,uhs?Not my prob.it's mr narain,and HE's NOT MINE. puke*.lols.
Later on went back home at 10 plus,chat with vivies.uhs.
alright sorry vivies that if not for me my friend wldnt had call u for my whereabouts.then we chat.talk abit abt the past which upset her and me as well.then i hang the phone cuz i need to call someone.blehhs.dun want tell her,keep on asking her to guess.hahs.she was like keep guessing and end up dun want to guess anymore and she was like okiies~.expect to receive her sms at 12 plus.but didnt gues sshe fall asleep ler.expect to recieve her msg todae noon,bbut she didnt thk her prepaid no moneys.

Todae.went to school
my god sorry. didnt expect u wuill rmb to bring the phone.i collect i t another day,will it do?
just not todae alright sorry.okies.just mention got a test yst yea?for chinese.and i did pass.i got 75 put of 100.nice job.i expect a jsut pass or fail badly.todae chemi got one more test.yst i was late for sch so i didnt take.beside i didnt even know there's a chemi test yst,perhaps it was annoce on last week,but i didnt come.luckily i know how to do.miracle.first time knwing how to do chemistry worrs!
hehes.yeah~ later on went to plaza meet jesslie to study.but meet vivies first.
hahas...

[[Darling,sorry yst disturb u doing ur work.anyways dun worry,ur haircut veru cute will growl ong very fast er.i wont stop loving u or xian qi u jusr for the sake of haircut der lar.hahas.ppl sae i like negg then gib ppl sae lor.i now u not can ler.ehhs.thanks for letting me confidning in u.u are a miracle.ur word i can listen in and feel beta even after thanks.i love you =) ]]

MS JESS WAN DAN LER!

TOOPID AH JESS

is SAVE not SEND!

kuku larr u!Miss Sotong Jess.

beside,ms jess preapid shd not be able to send out any msg,why can it be send suddenly?!
toopid network.damn.gona complain to starhub.make her so malu
it's incredible!uhs.enough of this topic.forget abt it.the thought of it made her thnks that heaven pranks on her.able to send out such msg at this time.this moment.when the system dun allow.
chg topic liao lar!is malu der lorr~

A girl,who sing and dance.
walk and run like mad.
love to ton at cities with her good friends and him.
plays piano.okies.a little bit.not much of a pro.
a girl who is active loves to jump here and there.
run here and there.
love shopping going to town and cities.
run to every corner of the the beautiful places and took a pic.
A girl,who is waiting for a date with him.
a girl who hv a dream.of being a Dj or enter the course tourism and hotel managment
A girl who loves to bake and went to the beach.
Now,after all these.will she still be able to do so?
will she?
just what's her future will be?

Though she's stress but she's somehow alr abit distress due to some thg.
alright.she understand her friend thoughts and feeling.but sometime she's too kuku.her reply back to her friends make them thinks that she dun understand.in fact she really do alright.
perhaps she's really a stupid girl.a kuku girl.
well.she feel like not bothering them anymore.she wana walk away.
she feel like,after the movie aft passing her the card after retuning them the money,after returning all thigs and just walk awayshe walk away.
let it be the last week or so.not gona bother them,or even contact them.not gona.
her leg's getting worst each day,but she put on a strong front.
it simply feels terrible.she may not be gona bother them anymore,untill a certain time.she knows when she shd contact them again.
she didnt tell them.cuz still condsiderating and she know cant let go,as in she cant bear.well.
from now onwards,in class no matter how bad or no matter she need how long to took to stand up everyday aft sch,she'd not gona call for help,cuz she dun wish to troub them or even add burdern to them.she will try on her on.unless she's DAMN SICK.
sch?perhaps.nope.not gona see her appear in sch anymore?maybe.
not sure.everything will be set provided that she had made that plan of her life.
Will she be lame?she hvnt went to the emengecy consultant yet.but what will the doc gona sae during her check up?
can she still walk and run like mad?can she still dance and sing?can she or is she still stay outside throughout the night with him and her friends after their O?confirm going to prom night.but on that night will she appear?
does she still hv the chance to wear her dress.if he's going,does she hv the chance to see her charming prince look.if they are bk tgt,does she hv the chance toattend prom night with him?
her DJ or Tourism management dream.will it fly away?
will she be able to pass her TT ?is she able to get all As and won over her dad's 70 bucks?
will she?
So just what her furture will be like?

[[Darling,sry for the msg.bu shi gu yi der.believe or not up to you.todaes rain.i bet u are still sick bahhs.hahas.got overwrk mahhs?hahs.todae call u u sounded tired.guess u watch harry potter lerr bahhs.nice?hahs.i gona watch soon.hahas.depends narr.hahas.yeah.u sounded tired todae.drink more water and rest well horrs.hahas.tml Mon,got sch.Da qi jing sheng lai hao mar?i wana see the full of energetic the darling.hahas.U wu shong marr.hahas.hv enough sleep,dun stay up too late,ehs?hehes.take care.ashiteru.]]

Trying to stay gaiety,
every min and every sec.

Though she's stress.
but she's somehow distress.
thanks for her darling's hug =)
his hug was like a miracle?
hahas.

2007-07-14T05:08:00.000-07:00

Alright.there.a long long journey to go.

yesterday she to town with drea to change the size of the TShirt,

phew! the dashing boy isnt in there.if not..yeah~

Before she went to PS, she went back home and changed,she cooked porridge.and not sure of why the porridge would become Chok.which seems to be like cake to him.hahs.but she find it not nad.yeah~and took the lit book and went to BB to retutn to him.

ohs.well.long journey on bus 985.she was damn nervous.dun know for what reason.

her hand keep holding on to the bowl of porridge,hahas.in case it spilled off.on the way,she imagined loads of wried things.like will he reject it.will he throw it off.will he not eat at all.and more.

it's pretty hot.hahas.Finally she reached!

She took a deep breath and knock the door.he open the door for her.
thanks,boy =) at least he ate a mouth.alright.she seat down and watch the SCV.alright.she know he got a SCV.no nid show off derr.blehhs.suppose to meet lin,but thanks that drea was understanding enough.hahs.she didnt rush her or scolded her.thanks drea.she love u loads =)
after that evening went to lot one and ate nasi lemak,while waiting for drea's friend.

okies.she's done with her dinner.she went to arcade with her to find her friends.

alright,her friend was like made her a bit fed up,so she went off.then later on they went bk tgt

she went out again at 9,to meet vivies.OMG~ thgs happening in Lot one.well shall not mention here =)

XinJie,hope u are feeling better,dun so sad ler.wads eant will be der.that thg lost ler,at least u still hv some other thgs,beta than none isnt it?must jia you and try to get over it uhs.JIa you!stay gaiety,girl! =)

Later on 10 plus acc vivies to plaza,horss.well.Considence?fate?

met him and them.alright.shall not comment or think of other thg.later on acc vivies to made her phone.

okies.then went to interchg.ok.what most sickening is the 975! it came,and just one more step she can aboard the bus,but the bus ran away.she was like wad duh hell.Okies.Then she saw THem again?

Bus run away,she saw them walking toaward.ohs not fate again?Bus ran away,and they came.

alright he play that song again.so she got no choice.but to "talk" on the phone instead.

hahs.bus came.finally!so she can home and rest ler.

Todae nth to do.intend to stay at home.but she realised no way she can stay.

so bo bian went outwith family.hahs.see she took some pic with her beloved bro!

Hehes.Her bro is cute isnt it?HahaS

she simply dotes her bro =)
Uhs.last min call.Amalina cant meet her out to study.oh dear.hahs.

and sc cant eet her lerr,cuz she had finish her dinner.

hehes.she simply love tonight dinner.

she went to hougang ave 8 to eat dan dan la mian.

hand made noddle.it was yummy,initally they cant ind the plca intend to go BB,she seems excited and told her dad. yeah! but later on they find the block which was 501,so too bad,they ate there.bUt it was yummy one!hahas.Fianlly got to eat a proper meal,cum its yummy one =)

wana sms him to ask him jia you,but dun wish to disturb him.so guess beta not.hahas.

[[Darling,yesterday thanks for confiding in me,thanks for ur hug.well.when u hug me i wana tell u smth in ur ears,but i guess beta not,so i shall tell you here.JIan ou de ri zi hen kuai guo qu de,yao jia you.wu hui ting ni dao di!and u nv eat the porridge nvm.perhaps not nice or u got no time.u dun want i wont force you,u alr very stress lerr,dun wish to force u to do anythg,neither i want to force too.rmb my words.dun lei huai ler.when O lvl u get gd grades,im sure ur mum and dad will be pls and wont nag u more like now,perhpas they meant well for you,but is overdoing ler.nvm if they dun understand.but i do =).No matter what,as long as u know u got try ur best,u got put on ur best effort is enough ler.Dun overwork and wear out urself.no use der.okies?i see u like that oso xim tia.aiyos. just jing ni suo neng.yi ding xing de!rmb i will always be here for you, be ur listening ear.dun ahem lar.u boi boi leiis.yao jian qiang worrs.im willing to lend u my shoulder too.hahas.eat the lolipop when u feeling damn stress or feeling down.ur fav strawberry leiis.Rmb bu yao lei huai sheng zu,yao kuai dian hao qi lai worrs!ashiteru(wo.ai.ni) =) ]]

*Stars-In-Night*

YES i do! i still do love him <3

Ms Jess__ tons of homework to rush. pile of studying to be done!

SHOPPING IS FUN!

simplyLOVEDINNER

SICKENING STUPID DUMMIBIE DUMBO AH JESS!

saddening i want my bear.do take good care of him.got to live on and take good care of him.

Stars-In-Night